Bye guys. And thank you.

BYRON BECK talks Batgirls, Flapjacks, Locker-Room shenanigans and tales of Teenage Palahniuk. How frigging Utah might save the economy, The internet will suck 37% harder, The 10 Sexiest Beanpoles ever, and a peek at the superstitious side of Cort n Fats.

Scary Things inside! Incl - Letterman sex, Hulk Hogan Suicide, Fat kids slangin fruit at school, Optimus Prime wants to make you sandwiches, Batman and Robin and MOVIE DOUCHE, and Drinking with Daren AND Craig from Roots Brewing.

Sound the Nerd Alert: It gets ridiculiciously geeky on today's show. AARON DURAN helps, but only a little. Eoin Colfer, Star Wars books, NASA stranding people on Mars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Earle Haley, and true tales of heroes.

Cort's weekend as a criminal and his secret future as a vigilante supervillain. JASON QUICK gets under the ref's stripes in Jock Itch, who's REALLY playing Sinestro in the Green Lantern movie, That stupid Oregon Sign again, and other crap.

DAVE WALKER gets ill on Sugar Hill, both he and ERIC D. SNIDER give surprising takes on Where the Wild Things Are, and STEVE HUMPHREY talks Python, lactation and bad porn. Plus the dilemma of Thunderlips, and (sigh) mo ToplessRobot Fan Fiction Friday.

BYRON BECK helps Cort and Fats pop the Balloon Boy story, JASON QUICK gets behind the locker room doors with the Blazers, AARON DURAN gets all Lovecrafty with Stephen King's Kid, plus coats on fire, why dudes REALLY drive sportscars, and other crap.

DRINKING WITH DAREN crowns a Pump-King, A message to NBC execs re: Jay Leno, 7 reasons Cosmo wants you to get dumped, Capt. Jack Ryan: USS Tom Clancy, Snakes, Bears, Bunnies, Movie Douche and Sexy Presidents. Download now, take a lap later.

A shorty show due to the Corey Taylor Takeover. What's left standing in his wake includes Political wrestling, professional wrestling, why babies are oogy, A tribute to Alistair Cooke, How to play football with Wildlife, and other crap.

Topics include: Playboy's misguided attempt to grab young readers, Politicized Cupcakes, The Ugliest Building in the World, Brett Ratner is an idiot. Starring Moses 2.0, Witches, Demons, Hillary Clinton, Lady Gaga, Mayans, Catholics, Cort and Fatboy.

THE MIKE RUSSELL POWER HOUR featuring a Cort/Mike tag team dissection of Trick R Treat, Fatty's review of A Serious Man, Eisenberg vs Cera decided, Why Dollhouse has failed us, and a plethora of DVD suggestions to bolster your filmgoing knowledge.

The President won a Nobel Peace Prize, so why the hell is everyone so unhappy? A look at the United States of Wharrgarbl w/ Cort and Fatboy. Plus romance advice from Ozzy Osbourne, and DAVE WALKER visits the sins of Romero's son on us all.

STORM LARGE apparates on the scene to talk future projects, female body issues and hygiene hints. BYRON BECK paints a down to earth portrait of Mr. Mayor. Plus Supermarket Etiquette, Blazers Preseason Update, and Chevy Chase Flavored Ramen.

Can Oregon afford to be so anti-Cali considering so many californians populate Oregon now? Also, Asteroids crashing into earth! Ninjas running for political office! Stump the Movie Douche grows yet another new rule! And DRINKING WITH DAREN!

This might be the show that breaks your iPod. Or Zune. Whatever. It's not Aaron Durans fault. He just brought the zombies. Topics include: Comcast, Hulu, Trick R Treat, Office Nap Rooms, Grow Your Own Brain schemes, PETA's latest protest, and other crap.

It's like Cort and Fats emptied their brains into two shotgun shells and kept pulling the trigger, Early show stumbles lead to convos on, but not limited to: Sam Adams, John Woo, SNL, Brett Favre, Important People Cheating on each other, Swine Flu, and YO.

Cort revels in worldwide destruction, Fats revels in his cardigan, MIKE RUSSELL tortures Cort with Girl-Friendly fictions, DAVE WALKER fires his guns at the Clackamas, and ANNO SUPERSTAR finally steps up to the mic at the end of her North American tour.

Cort and Fats and crazy newfangled iFlat things, going to jail over VHS tapes, BYRON BECK gets autobiographical, EMILY GIBSON brings PDX the 1st annual Baconfest, Bank Robbing w/ Pokemon, and the Return of Art Webb. Co-starring Gandalf and Larry.

Cort and Fats wade hip-deep into subjects as varied as Polanski and Alley, Dennis Miller's sad fall from funny, Clowns as interstellar defense, the dumbest recall of all time, and of course DRINKING WITH DAREN. Plus movie douche.

Cort and Fats muse on inexplicable things like Steampunk and ICP fans. AARON DURAN survives the bus-ride from hell to talk about Teddy Roosevelt's robot pal. And is Average America really WAL-MART? Plus Sarah Palin's pop-up memoirs and other crap.

Going behind the scenes (and under the mullet) of the state legislature with REP. JEFFERSON SMITH. Plus Cort survives a Bear Attack, The worst Television Idea in the past decade, The hell of being a Bush speechwriter, and the New Nightmare on Elm Street.

Cort and Fats and Sad Bald Bruce Willis, and Cornel West's Twitter, and DAVE WALKER's interesting tattoo choices, and STEVE HUMPHREY'S birthing preferences, and MIKE RUSSELL dissects Surrogates and the science of Sports Movies.

The effects of sleep deprivation finally break us. One of the most WTF-packed shows ever, including clawfooted snakes flying kamikaze planes, Moonbases on Mars, Byron Beck being repulsed by a story about Balls, Pres. Chuck Norris, and that f**kin Truck.

Cort has a hole in his soul. What will fit? Fatboy finds out. Plus, Prof DAREN MORIARTY gets to drinking, The Origin of Glenn Beck, The latest in comings and goings re: Survive it and Drive it, and a Stump the Movie Douche that redefines "winning".

Cort and Fats battle fatigue with the help and power of BRIMLEY. AARON DURAN tries to get The Rock a real job, GREG NIBLER and TIM RILEY update from Survive it and Drive It, Retro game dreams get squashed, and somewhere, Rush Limbaugh weeps.

Cort and Fats and Rick Emerson and Sarah Dylan starring in: 4 idiots volunteer to live in a truck for 2 weeks in the hopes they'll win it. Starring a racist, a crybaby, some bald dude and a guy with balls glued to his body. Plus - other crap that happened.

MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN of Tool talks wine and Wayans. MIKE RUSSELL faintly praises Diablo Cody, and DAVID WALKER gazes upon Michael Jai White and declares it better than Bloodsport. Plus sod shards, sexting codes, how to sneeze, and MATT DAMON.

DAN CLARK of Geek in the City gets his YAR on for the PDX Pirate Fest. BYRON BECK calling out Jasun Wurster, and signaling the end of the Storm Large era in PDX. Fatboy commits murder, Cort commits Party, 2012 paranoia and more.

Let's play a game called "Is it Racist..or just stupid?" Speaking of stupid, advice on flipping off cops, exposing corruption in government, and what you can and can't scream while interrupting the Pres. Plus - the story for Star Trek 2!

AARON DURAN GETS SHOT. Also, renegade seals? Invading YOUR home? What you can do about it. Plus - showers are bad, Temple of Doom is better than Last Crusade, alternative uses for the Coliseum, Portland's newest supervillain Batsack, and other stuff.

Get in on the birth of a meme, hear the CORRECT opinion on this Kanye West mess, Mourn the Swayze properly, plumb the mind of Michael Jordan, discover how Cap'n concieves of the perfect Party, and Fatty's theory of Thespian Sharks. Plus other crap.

Cort ruins every single plan Fatty had for the weekend. Steven Humphrey's receptionist has unkind words the douchebag duo, Dave Walker Electra Glides in Blue, and Mike Russell talks Rambo, Chris Onstad, and fantasy casting for imaginary projects.

Telling Stories with Melissa Lion and Friends of Back Fence PDX, International Superstar Anno silently sits in and teaches us Swedish, Cort and Fats share tales of helljobs, plus bloopers, Dollhouse 2.1 reviewed, He-Man sequels and Jock Itch.

The show starts not with a bang, but a brainfart. Vocab fail, listener habits, wax sculptures, Rose McGowan's elbows, Cort's Peabody award sheds a tear, Things Glenn Beck has yet to deny being responsible for, Stump the Movie Douche, and DAREN RETURNS!

A scattershot show today: clucking hausfraus ruining charity, Disagreeing with Snoop Dogg, What God needs with a Starship, Charlie Sheen is out of his goddamned mind, Why not dirt clods? Teach your kids how to sneeze already, and FONT TALK!

No Show

The MIKE RUSSELL power hour goes sour, then salty, and then jumps the rails completely. First, a rumination on the career of Bateman and Mike Judge's humanity towards the common man. And then marathons, Beavers, International Superstars and Oregon's Father.

Part IFailed Broadway aspirations w/ WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY, People DAVID WALKER wants to beat senselessly on PPV, How the French stopped Swine Flu, When Drunken pranks go Ping-Pong Wrong, and right up front, Cort and Fats on the U of O's newfound douche status.

Hot Swords and Chamberpots at the Hotel De Cort, Punchin out Old Farts with Fatboy, BYRON BECK drops more hints towards his big news story while inquiring as to Cort's hair-care procedure, Dr. Kitzhaber calls back, and Neve Campbell's chest.

A low-key affair, with measured responses and thoughtful musings on the nature of political propaganda and the balance between consumerism and art, with a call from a gubernatorial candidate. And then we play movie douche, drink beer, and lol at cats.

AARON DURAN tells tales of Superman's real religion, why Batman could kick 007's ass, and Dr. McNinja. Flickchart.com melts geek brains, and Cort proposes a VS only a coldhearted snake could concoct. Plus, kitty abuse, comedy science and sweetly sour stuff.

How Midnight Movies are chosen, the Power of Swayze, Rivers Cuomo's adventures with Doc Brown, Trek in the Park Post-Mortem and Future Projects, Mythical Stripping Legends of Portland, and whether Shia LeBeouf is worthy of godhood or not.

Starring: CAPT. KIRK and MR. SPOCK (Adam Rosko and Jesse Graff) of TREK IN THE PARK! DAVE WALKER! Co-Starring NOT ERIC D. SNIDER! He-Man vs Chris Hansen, Worshipers at the Church of Bacon, RIP Reading Rainbow, and Shutting off the internets?

A day that begins Bleh gets brightened with BYRON BECK'S adventures in playland. And then an infusion of Bone Down follows. It's as pleasurable as it sounds. Plus, the diff. between Player and Playa, when you're gonna die, and other cool crap.

We are Rumor Control. We give you nothing but facts: How the hell is Alan Rickman hot? Your only chance against a Polar Bear attack revealed, as well as about 20 good reasons why you shouldn't be on Facebook. plus Movie Douche, Drinkin With Daren, and stump the movie douche.

The Tragedy of being a kitty of Corts: The heartwarming tale of Tweek. Speaking of tweek - meth juice! Apple shaped people! Jerry O'Connell is MEAN! Leonardo DiCaprio cries diamonds? and AARON DURAN'S EPIC REVENGE ADVENTURE: UNBRIDLED!

A cavalcade of stars appear through the magic of imagination. Stephen King. Gandalf. Martin Scorsese. That one chick who posted her myspace pic in front of a turd. Plus, mermaid defense strategies, the King of the Baldwins, and other true stories.

DAVE WALKER bemoans the decline of the B-movie and of Debbie Gibson, STEVE HUMPHREY likes shiny things, MIKE RUSSELL does play-by-play while embedded in Avatar Day, Cort reveals the Colonel's secret recipe, Finger-Gun etiquette, and other stuff.

MIKE RUSSELL POWER HOUR - THURSDAY EDITION! The mountainous hype behind Avatar, thoughts on the trailer, and what the hell is Quentin trying to do with Inglorious Basterds. Plus the Blazers new uniforms, Healthcare facts DEBUNKED! and other crap.

BYRON BECK teases like no man has on our airwaves. ART WEBB makes Fatty Jealous, A live, on-air heart attack happens in real time, some of the worst ads ever, how Cort's office life is a game of Berzerk, and your shot at bumping into 7 of 9.

A vitriolic little show today: Both the left and the right get hit with a barrel of buckshot each. Plus, the 2nd installment of DRINKING WITHOUT DAREN, settling once and for all, Heineken vs. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Plus wharrgarbl, cats, and Movie Douche.

one of the more schizophrenically conversational shows we've ever done. the flow chart: Wolves > Brett Favre > Explosions > New Weezer > Vikings > Gandalf > Eddie Olmos > Mudvayne > Aliens > Boobs > Time traveling Chi-Mos > The Beatles. Good luck!

Show so full that neither Thunderdome or Jock Itch actually made the cut. What did? ROB ZOMBIE discussing Halloween II, Intelligent Debates on Stuff and Things, Pokemon in the cookie aisles, the glory of Guttenberg, and other crap.

The return of DAVE WALKER, and the surprising subject of his discussion. MIKE RUSSELL talks District 9 and Junket Etiquette, WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY talks unorthodox moving methods, and Cort celebrates a parenting milestone! Plus other crap.

BYRON BECK talks weenies, child beatings, cheating and fame. ART WEBB brings local nuggets, What team thinks so little of their fans they hired Michael Vick (NOT THE RAIDERS, HA) and other crap from outside sources to smooth out an otherwise B-minus show.

The vastness of space, the nature of god, the essence of puppies, and the beauty of brew, countered with asinine ramblings about legos, squeezits, Organic Food in heaven, and a game called Movie Douche. Co-Starring Prof. Daren Moriarty.

Is it safe? How do mermaids grow feet? Can a car get 230mpg? How do you secure a publishing contract? Does Mr. Skin still serve any sort of earthly purpose in an internet filled with free streaming hardcore? All questions answered. AARON DURAN helps.

The glorious return of the MIKE RUSSELL POWER HOUR. Films reviewed include In the Loop and A Perfect Getaway. With special guest star GOVERNOR ERIC D. SNIDER to judge GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. w/ Dirty Laundry, compliment deflection, and ESB goodness.

STEVE HUMPHREY braves dick tanks and diarrhea, Cort and Fats redesign human anatomy with candy and drugs, Bad Kitties and their internet tomfoolery, Who does Craptivision and Van Halen think they're fooling? and Reservoir flavored goodness.

Life on Mars, Latinas in the Supreme Court, BYRON BECK in a hot dog eating contest, The dumbest man alive gets the biggest paycheck in Football, Cort conquers Harry Potter, and constant reminders of the late John Hughes' genius.

Parenting + Flaming Barrels = Winning Webber Techniques! Plus, how to save newspapers with Matt Davis and Cort Webber, EW screws up yet again, The Flaming Phoenix of Douche, Fatty channels Ralph Fiennes, Arsenio Hall's sad fate, and other crap.

Bill Clinton saves the day, The worst/best Midnight Movie idea ever, The War on Drank, Teenage Mutant Ninja Remakes, Kurt Cobain's Memorial Plaque, Obama's Birthday, Apple's attempt to claim your soul, and Gargamel's motivation?

Unofficial Listener Interaction day: Lots of texts, emails, and calls that solve problems, confound reason, and heal lives. Plus death worms, horse death, rockstars in sadface, and movie news to depress and anger your inner badass.

Of Mexican Sand Heists, Gay Dog Marriage, World-Saving mammaries, Aliens, Ash and stupid teenagers. Starring WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY talking Space Sex, AARON DURAN - also talking space sex, and MIKE RUSSELL calling from his Star Wars ticket bunker.

BYRON BECK talks LeBron and MTV comin to town before stripping for the boys. Plus - Where the heroic Vampires at when you need em? Pornography for Education, Beer Summits, Stripper Zombies, Mike Vick's job interview potentials, and other crap.

War on Bears, Bank Robbery Getaway Plans, Disabled Weight-Loss Programs, The Man's conspiracy regarding Organic foods, Daren Drinks something Otter-flavored, Sam Strange of Chud.com writes a trailer review for the ages, and nostalgia goes sour.

Our talk with Sully from Godsmack out at Cruefest 2.

the keys to MAINSTREAM FM broadcasting excellence are contained within today's show. Study, Learn - then make millions from our example. Also, Thunderdome, canaryfights, mennonites, Manson hissyfits, bank robberies, and dumb callers.

MIKE RUSSELL counts the punches pulled in the creepy/fun ORPHAN, and then gets into contrarian mode when discussing THE HURT LOCKER. Plus the horror director wishlist, beer-theater recommendations, and a particularly poetic Dirty Laundry.

WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY on Salem Theme Parks and Superman costumes, The Final Round of "The Goods" gets extended to middling success, Fatty gets haunted by Dennis Hopper, Cort's misguided singing telegram concept and MIKE RUSSELL'S bicycle adventures.

BYRON BECK savors flavors and celebrity panties. SAM ADAMS and his Dorian Grey properties, Comic-Con frothing, hating on Tim Burton and Bob Zemeckis, A WTF-call from a real doll, The Raiders are NOT signing Mike Vick, and more "interviews." I guess.

Cort's new reality show gets shot down, Raimi's newest movie gets a script, Are Zombie Movies Dead (or Undead?) A Movie Douche Cull of unseen proportions, Shark Tweekers, Babies + Dogs = Apocalypse, and DRINKING WITH DAREN gets a little lippy.

Of undead Superheroes and misheard names with AARON DURAN, Nature's soothing cry of the Beaver makes a return, more insightful interviews of the boys, new Muse garners interesting views, tables get turned, and suckers burn to learn.

Cort and Fats see if amateur interviewers have THE GOODS, A stomach-testing tale of State Fair Lunch, The return of THUNDERDOME, Kids in Peril, the redefinition of Communism, Voltron, Things to Eat in Cleveland While Driving, and other crap.

MIKE RUSSELL sparks (good-natured) controversy regarding KRISTI TURNQUIST and LEBOWSKI-FEST before a sprawling discussion covering Harry Potter 6, Superman, Best Mustaches Ever, How to stay sane on the Internet, and Walter Cronkite's death.

Urban Legends about alcohol lead to exciting new marketing opportunities. Scad Investment firms are investigated, Bill Cosby makes a guest appearance from the 60's, and Arctic Blobular death from the north, plus surprise Comic-Con announcements.

ERIC STOLHANSKE of BROKEN LIZARD reveals details about the traveling roadshow coming in November, BYRON BECK tells tale of Eddie Vedder Spit, Fatty rages against the Emmy machine, A rare apology to the listeners is issued, PDX under the national spotlight.

BYRON BECK, embedded reporter dishes on all things Dave from last night, leading to an impassioned discussion on how TWITTER WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT MEDIA. Maybe. Plus Daren brings bold brews, bad movie ideas, and good Movie Douche!

A show to bridge social castes. Like DAVE CHAPPELLE? like RANDY COUTURE? Like COMICS? The creators of THE WARRIORS: JAILBREAK are in studio, so is Randy, and Dave pops up more than a Waldo book. Plus celebrity-in-his-own-mind JJ SMOOVE calls in.

It's a shorty show as we shirk responsibility to watch wizards and wands and such. But before we play hooky: Street Fairs, Tattooed Eyeballs, The O fails Oregon, Sprained Pancreases, Batpug, and reasoned recall discussion of sorts.

MIKE RUSSELL - he reviews movies and saves relationships. ATOMIC ARTS goes behind the curtain of TREK IN THE PARK, Ridin bulls all over Portland Media with WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY, and assorted nonsense feat. Juggernaut, Jodie Foster, and Severus Snape.

Gas and Grenades + Childbirth and BYRON BECK and the last time Cort kissed a dude and genetic manipulations and the Fifth face on Mount Rushmore and the Blazers buying bad oranges, and ART WEBB and injectable 1ups. And stuff and things.

Deep, introspective, philosophical discussion Stephen Hawking would be proud of. And then Smurfs. Plus DRINKING WITH DAREN introduces the genius that is TAPLISTER. 14 things that make you a man, and the petition to rename 39th gets an end, and a new begin.

Fatty's back, no thanks to AARON DURAN'S nefarious plans. RICK EMERSON highlights the lowlights of the Jackson FUN-eral, Nicolas Cage: Mathemagician, Genius movie-themed inventions in action, Viewmaster: The Movie, and dumb people.

RICK EMERSON argues for the sanctity of Santa Barbara, and MIKE RUSSELL brings plastic bags full of vehicular nostalgia before damning Public Enemies with faint praise and championing Michael Mann's unique style. Plus Jersey Ninja Bears.

BYRON BECK gets heated, and Cort throws gasoline on his fire. And that's when things get out of control. Plus, Asteroids: The movie, ART WEBB'S local music preview And an anthropological study of Turkey and how it relates to Fatty's neighbor.

Rick Emerson watches minds fold in, Cort's theory of Flexing in Airplanes, Fatty sucks pretty much all day long at being a co-host, and Daren brings a beer that smells like the 70's. Plus, the first arch-nemesis in Movie Douche History. And Stuff.

Rick Emerson probes the depth of the Jackson Aftermath, Cort's now taking credit for reuniting bands that aren't broken up, and Aaron Duran engages in urinary warfare. Plus Private Ryan's lessons, Empire gets improved, and Kenny F**in Powers!

An especially extra-dry show. Like a fine chardonnay. If Chardonnay could talk about face-ripping robots, gourmet cookie reviews, the evolution of entertainment philosophy, and blatant stereotyping of everything. Plus thunderdome!

MIKE RUSSELL tries to make sense of the senseless with Transformers 2, WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY talks monkey dance moves and haute couture, we try to fill Aaron Duran's Hole, Create Dragon Elixir, and Cort tries a new segment with a crappy title.

2 minutes before we went on air, Michael Jackson died. So this show is predominantly about that. BYRON BECK and RICK EMERSON weigh in with their thoughts, while Cort and Fats shoot down erroneous claims regarding the death of GOLDBLUM. other stuff happens.

Superchud and General Zod battle it out for YOUR VOTE, while Daren invokes the power of Suave, and Cort discovers why his mom never loved him. As consolation, he reunites Soundgarden and the world offers him their firstborn. Plus, a crappy movie douche.

It's a Shorty Show for Bayformer reasons. Lessons on how to survive in Politics, How to learn from Mickey Rourke's mistakes, how to be neighborly and not get stabbed, and sartorial advice from two of the most fashionable lads in America.

RANDY COUTURE talks Expendables, RON JEREMY discusses sex club etiquette, AARON DURAN takes it to Marvel for resurrecting Steve Austin, and MIKE RUSSELL investigates "message movies" and their myriad failures. Plus the 1st 15 min of TF2!

JEFFERSON SMITH using movies to change the world, BYRON BECK exploring Cort and Fatty's staid ideas on monogamy (aka why haven't you had a 3-way yet?!) Milestones, Joystick chewing, Rabbit women, and Ricky Hollywood. A 'cast so big it almost didn't fit.

Short Show - EXPLOSIVE CONTENT! DEATH THREATS! NAKED CRIME! SHARKS AND COCAINE! ROBOT SEX! MAJOR SPOILERS! and a bunch of other maybe true, maybe crap stuff. Plus, farts. And of course, Drinking With Daren. Special Guest Star: Alec Baldwin.

Fighting Politics with MATT "THE LAW" LINDLAND, the secrets of Diff'rent Strokes, and how 70ft Ball Bins are the key to Portland's economic rise. Plus, Tazing the schizophrenic is BAD, Suing the shoe company is GOOD, and Fatty's prison of douche.

The truth behind #GI JOEfail, #CNNfail, and Fatty's Childhood #Seedfail. Also, the perils of Wheat Thin addiction, the joys of Santana's sparkling wine, Thunderdome irritation, and Cort and Fatboy fix the world. Or at least a couple movies and a TV show.

MIKE RUSSELL is confronted with tales of press pool Beck-Lust, and recruits Cort to pummel Fatboy with a reading of Pixar's "Up" that leaves Fatty bemoaning the loss of magic in their hearts. Plus Jock Itch, 2 DL's, and Trent Reznor Crying Moar.

WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY gets drunk off some Tru Blood, BYRON BECK tells tales of young sexy MIKE RUSSELL and old unsexy CHAS BONO, AARON DURAN sets out a dish for the PET AVENGERS, and nightmare scenarios involving twinkie abuse, surprise preggos, and Zombie.

Juicebox Revolutions, Ashton Kutcher: Black Bag Genius, and the glorious return of Daren Moriarty, much to the relief of Fatboy's Liver. Plus, why Superhero Comics are like Guiding Light, Megan Fox is a traitor, and Eddie Murphy's quaint comedy stylings.

Cort comes back from his day off welcoming a newborn with a terrible idea: Womb Zippers. Also, the journalistic majesty of Rolling Stone is examined, Next Months Midnight Movie is announced, and other juvenile detritus like drunk twitters and beef.

Suddenly Cort's a freakin neurologist. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY doesn't like the diagnosis. Cort and Fats don't like AARON DURAN's opinion of Karate Kid. And MIKE RUSSELL likes Chaka. Show starts nice, gets vulgar, then turns insightful/tasteless/cool again.

BYRON BECK is trapped on the S.S. Mediocrity when a massive thunderstorm cuts the power (like animals!) on Cort and Fats. Which is good, because the show was getting rather peen-flavored before the interruption. Take a rocky trip into Podcasting waters.

Getting to the bottom of this PDseX club thing with RON JEREMY, fresh from the set of Iron Man 2. Also, Drinking Without Daren gets all sorts of low-class, and Fatty Eats Worlds during Stump the Movie Douche. Plus, historical legends on Drank.

Lotta talkback today. Guess when you talk about annoying Cokeheads, and why legalizing Pot won't work , people have a lot to say. Also, bad Dry Cleaners, Dick Cheney sex products, and other crap. Short one today. Yes, 80 minutes is "a short one" now.

What's Portugese for AWESOME? Not Cort and Fatboy. But portugese words do come up in regards to RON JEREMY'S PORTLAND SEX CLUB. Plus the Lakers role in the Revolutionary War, Accidental Porn, and a Thunderdome that leaves Fatty in tears.

MIKE RUSSELL and AARON DURAN are the veterans of the Screening Rat Fracas of 09. Hear tale of fat crackheads and flying spittle at DRAG ME TO HELL. Plus STEVE HUMPHREY gets MTV-tastic. Also - Cort's Neil Diamond love, Tugging, and other crap.

A lotta Whoa goin on: SILVERSUN PICKUPS in studio, BYRON BECK is the one getting disturbed for once, Cat strategies, A dearth of news makes Dirty Laundry a little insane, Nicolas Cage goes a LOT insane, and the sad fate of Johnny Lawrence.

CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN, one of the funniest really nerdy white guys on TV, stops by and dishes some behind-the-scenes comedy news. Also, Drinking With Daren gets summery, This Bacon Nonsense, Russian Ice Cream, and Sweep the Movie Leg. or somethin.

Show sounds a little different today. It might sound like this for awhile. Let us know if you dig it, post on the boards or email us. As for content, you got VS, you got Rainbows, you got Unicorns, you got Mega-Shark and Lamas. Be happy.

Memorial Day Weekend claims your friday podcast, so we gutted it and put it in thursday's metal exoskeleton. Like a Terminator. Which MIKE RUSSELL reviews at length. Plus Steven Humphrey wants bad boys, BYRON BECK swings, and TOM MORELLO subverts.

We're not doing a show Friday (holiday stuff) so you're getting extra AARON DURAN comics news today, plus Daren does a great Seal impersonation. Mo' remake discussion, the Secret of Spook-a-blast, listener homophobia, and podcast fun. Sorta.

Why TV is borked, why Ratings are stupid, why peeing in a pool is a bad thing (seriously, this has to be argued?) and how to make your oranges taste better. Plus, distracting things, and Eric Roberts will steal your cable if you're not careful.

Joe Biden is a crappy secret-keeper, Cort Webber is a farty news correspondent, Hugh Jackman needs a new job, The Roving Gangs of Denver, A Historical Thunderdome, and quite a few other mildly diverting topics of conversation. Like tickle-rape.

Skeet Shooting, Hanks hating, Trivia Night Debauchery, Marathon Refreshment Choices, and Sweat Lodge Tantrums. Written and Directed by Cort Webber and Fatboy Roberts. Starring STEVE HUMPHREY, AARON DURAN, AND MIKE RUSSELL. Score by Keyboard Cat.

BYRON BECK and guest POISON WATERS put lipstick on a Fatboy and engage in podcast-only TUCK TALK. Also, a bunch of other stuff. I'd tell you more about it but my brain stopped working about 20 minutes in and I don't remember anything now.

More in Cort and Fats exploration of man's deeper nature: WHAT IS BOGGLE? Stump the Movie Douche gets mildly contentious, real live honest-to-god Zombies found on earth, The nightmare that is being raised by Cort, and DRINKIN WITH DAREN!

Cort and Fats FIX PORTLAND. Imbued with newfound political power, the show is spent solving the city's problems efficiently and stupidly all at once. Plus, throat-chops, rock-star boogers, toilet snakes, and Aziz vs IMAX! It's about principles.

Great mysteries of Earth revealed! The Meaning of Mustard? How old can Hyena Dung really get? Why do people hire Wanda Sykes to do ANYTHING? Plus, calls from royalty, the official historian of the show calls in, and podcast-only wtf JUST for you.

LEONARD NIMOY: Alternately pleased with Fatboy, and annoyed by Fatboy. Definitely pleased by Star Trek? Cort, Fats, MIKE RUSSELL, STEVEN HUMPHREY, and AARON DURAN, who all gush a little (or a lot) about the film. Plus Zombies, Jesus, and Indiana Jones.

BYRON BECK goes deep, podcast style. So does Manny Ramirez, maybe. Examine a world where McDonald's wages war on Starbucks, People stage sit-ins for chicken, and ATM's dispense cake instead of cash. Plus pre-Nimoy nervousness.

Who knew Fireworks was one of the Founding Fathers' biggest concerns? Constitutional rights to blow s**t up, EXPLORED, along with shocking revelations about Paula Abdul, Hot Rocks, Podcast only Poker taunting, and Drinking With Daren returns!

RIP mr. DeLuise. We're sorry we killed you. How we'll use those powers for good is discussed, along with the announcement that LEONARD NIMOY is coming on the show. A plethora of Podcast Only tips, and WTF is Nicolas Cage thinkin?

Strange. It's Star Wars day, and yet Cort and Fats can't stop gushing over the new Star Trek. the show is thunderdome-less, so podcast only overcompensation kicks in. Oogy stories, how Macaroni Salad trumped Gay Sex, and Cort's tin-roof adventures.

Balancing Bubbles and Sash Fashion with STEVEN HUMPHREY of the Mercury, eviscerating Wolverine and hallelujah-ing Henson with MIKE RUSSELL, and sitting on the porch with Old Man Logan and AARON DURAN. Plus biology minute with Cort and Fats.

The future of politics w/JEFFERSON SMITH, a vision of better basketball broadcasting, Star Trek Gaydar w/ BYRON BECK, and the history of Camel Toe, all in one mediocre lump for your pods. Plus Slat technology failures and other crap.

A celebration-shortened podcast. But just because it's Fatty-sized doesn't mean it doesn't pack a punch, just like Fatty (actually, no) The Duke of Douche gets hot, Travis Outlaw gets cold, Soda vs. Pop and Podcast Only wtf-stuff.

Fearmongering, Flu-mongering, gay kitties and low-interest, low-down-payment blasphemy you can dip tasty chips in. It's just another podcast-only blast of WTF for your ass, courtesy of Cort and Fats. Plus nostalgia baths, remake advice, and ninjas.

The open of the show is like Travis Outlaw's jumper: ICE COLD. With Podcast Only tributes and trials of patience. Also, Cort has a one-on-one with the coach, your Swine Flu center is called Dirty Laundry, and a Thunderdome with a mullet.

CHANNING TATUM - That's DUKE of GI JOE to you, tells the interesting origing of Fighting. Wm Steven Humphrey and Aaron Duran both Yo Joe, but Steve brings a side of Caprica, and Mike Russell feels the weight of ANVIL! Plus Podcast only WTF material.

RON WHITE, the only comedian on the Blue Collar tour you can legitimately classify as an ACTUAL comedian, gets down. Byron Beck goes straight and gets SCOOPED, Star Trek, Blazers, Han Solo, Hopium, and a whole mess of podcast only wtf for you to ingest.

Opening with a Jersey Bang: THE PARLOR MOB live in studio. And then the most pleasurable Movie Douche in a long time, plus the History of Earf Day, Hunting kitties with violins, Scooter's genealogy, and Daren goes Guido to honeylicious results.

Falling teeth, falling expectations, why pooping needs crowd participation, how Cort saved the publishing industry, and other podcast-only odds and sods that make listening online the obvious choice. Plus the best kids film that ever existed.

Traditions are upheld in the face of smokey stupidity. Cort and Fats are nothing if not full of integrity - and other things. the UN's anti-racism party, Oregon's earthquake party, KUFO's Star Trek party, and Podcast-Only award winning material.

JEFF SMITH, creator of BONE. THE TOADIES, creators of Possum Kingdom. ERIC D. SNIDER, governor of all online film criticism. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY, who loves television. And us.

CHRIS HARDWICK, the Nerdist, talks famous friendships and the melody of Pi. Byron Beck talks about (what else) Cort's junk, Pajama Bowl pleading kicks into overdrive, and why it's always a good idea to pay heed to Sam Jackson's cinematic warnings.

JANITOR wields a mighty Knife-Wrench on short notice, Movie Douche gets sorta heated and angry, Roving Gangs of wild turkeys beleaguer the podcast, along with Noah's Ark II: The Hotel Resort Cruise, and Prof Daren Moriarty's Panty Dropping Adventures.

Comedians, and Coreys, and Cort OH MY. that was bad. I apologize. Lotta Podcast Only worrying about talking to teen-idols, bonus Dirty Laundry stories, a VS that finishes March Music Mayhem, and DAVID KOECHNER dropping comedy science.

Tis a MANLY show: Braveheart gets taken for half, and pirates get half their heads taken. The finer points of why the military can't be ninja sniper men, Cort's killbot army with ZapTron technology, some Jock Itch, and some Thunderdome to wash it down.

A buffet of uncomfortable news amidst new loveliness, leading to a balanced plate of mediocrity for you to consume. Wm. Steven Humphrey Loves Television in our new weekly segment, Aaron Duran Zombies up, and Mike Russell quashes netrage. And podcast-only WTF?

DEFINITELY R-RATED TODAY, FOLKS. just gonna warn you. Byron Beck went the f**k off on the Podcast. What else happened? Well, Cort is a Boss, PETA was outed as a comedy troupe, things were lost in Courtney Love, and Oregon redefined sexual assault.

Radio as effective Birth Control, the sad saga of Chia Obama, Podcast only pee-pee and poo-poo as a creamy topping to the massive movement of awesome that is Stump the Movie Douche, co-starring Sam Neill. Washed down with a pint of Drinkin with Daren.

Tons of Podcast-Only Ass-kickery: Toby Keith gets an asswhipping, How FDR met his wife, What could kill a Terminator and how SciFi can save itself, along with on-air loveliness involving setting teenagers on fire and Oregon's depression.

Interesting research into biology, religion, and why it hurts when you pee. Along with podcast-only ruminations on Cort's view of art, and where his daughter ranks. Plus, march music mayhem gets a cool nickname, and John Stockton is a dirty, dirty sob.

A largish collection of trainwrecks, topicality, theft, and mediocrity: DANGER EHREN of Jackass takes over the first 3rd of the show, Mike Russell takes over the last 3rd, and sandwiched inbetween is Aaron Duran maligning an entire continent.

Cort spews filth geysers, and Byron Beck needs YOU! Lingering April Fool's tomfoolery trips us up, Nicolas Cage's 5th symphony, The Cajun Chef stumbles out of Cort's subconscious, miracles in Cleveland, and Podcast only WTF, England from Fatty.

The Most Embarrassing Douche ever, Daren Moriarty is drinking with April Fools, Britain vs Oregon, Why is Lisa Lampanelli funny? Why is Sharon Osborne still alive? And a variety of podcast only loveliness for your head, and highboob ninja-rey.

Carlin Vs. Pryor, Robots vs. Brains, Your fist vs. Matt Damon. Lotta contentious matchups in tonight's Dirty Laundry, plus the best YouTube advice you'll ever get, some podcast-only loveliness from The Onion, and other random douchebaggery.

Real Investigative Journalism on Display. Sexting, SADS, and the most important question of our time: What will Bill O'Reilly watch in the FUTURE? March Music Mayhem continues, How to make diamonds, and 2 old friends make a guest appearance in DL.

Extra Large Podcast Only tastiness. 97 minutes of Cort vs his Daughter's Monsters, Aaron Duran's genealogy minute, Mike Russell luvs Venture Bros and talking BSG Finale. For 25 Min. Plus wedding advice and slap-choppin hoes with the Sham-Wow dude.

Yunno how about every 6 months we do a show that's really low-brow and vulgarly indulgent? Yup. That's this one. Be warned. Byron Beck gives tips and tricks on how to trap Harrison Ford, The Real Shaq Tweets, and mailed pee. And stuff.

The difference between Toddlers and Pets, China's solution to Gerbil Plague 09, Stump the Movie Douche catches THE HAWK, Prof. Daren Moriarty brings spring to the show, Cort helps Fats with his Nu Shooz, and Podcast only idiocratic c**k-punching!

Maybe the most random Cort and Fats of the last 3 1/2 weeks or so. Cort's daughter tries to drown him, Will Smith's harrowing cross-country road story, Juvenile Delinquent Dinosaurs, What happens when you press 0 on your phone, and Podcast-Only WTF.

What levels will the economy bring YOU to in order to secure employment? Cort and Fats discover the answer, as well as interesting ideas on cannibalism as parenting technique. Also, Sylvia Plath puns, March Music Mayhem, and podcast-only BSG talk.

Half Podcast/Half Amazing: Almost 60 percent of today's show is Podcast only rambling about child abuse, trash eating, and memories of BSG. Mike Russell dishes on Fanboys, and Aaron Duran talks Superhero Old Folks homes, with a side of Fatty's Dirty Laund.

Byron Beck tells tales of Kobe Bryant out of school - and then the school of Sinferno straightens the score. or whatever. Also, the Dental Misadventures of Fatboy, Obi-Wan + Ace Ventura = 2 Gay for Theaters, and podcast only sleeping bag fun.

Cort and Fats and the accidental soccer leak, Drinking with Daren discovers the illicit joys of baked good + flatulence, a Movie Douche that starts with flawless victory and ends like Thelma and Louise, and podcast only love and hate.

Putting some silly into Syfy while searching for Sam Beckett, BSG @ UN, And a VERSUS that stings on St. Paddys: IRISH VS SCOTTISH. Which is best, which is crap? The results may surprise. Trees get tossed, Twilight gets trashed, with podcast-only love.

From Father of the Bride to Fleshlights: Steve Martin retrospectives smash into sex toys and whoretalk before self-correcting to something a little more thunderdomey. With Podcast-Only tidbits and free internets for winning at using the phone.

Cort returns with tales of Stabbed Wives and Pee Drinkers. RICK EMERSON gets welcomed to the fold, BEN WATERHOUSE talks cheap eats, Aaron Duran talks dream theory, and Mike Russell gushes over the Rock. incl. bad dentistry tales and what NOT to ask Katee.

Happy Birthday, here's some crap. Old crap. Hope you laugh at it. Be back on Friday. We'll have Starbuck with us.

Cort's in Mexico, swimming with drunken stingrays. So here's some crap he threw together that I'm uploading. Enjoy.

Cort and Fats go extra-large sized with today's podcast. Starring KATEE SACKHOFF as INTERVIEW GODDESS. Co-Starring: AARON DURAN as weird sex dude, MIKE RUSSELL as impassioned film critic, and DAVE WALKER as Mr. D! With Podcast only highs and lows.

Cort and Fatboy and BRYAN CRANSTON of Breaking Bad, who talks about cooking meth and banging Borgnine. BYRON BECK poses in the Buff for your enjoyment, Big Jim gets a present, and should health insurance cover sex toys? Plus podcast only fun.

Cort and Fats get the first ever Meh review out of Prof. Daren Moriarty on Drinking With Daren. The best contestants ever on Stump the Movie Douche: they wound gods and kick butkus. Plus podcast only rachmaninoff rants. It works. Trust me.

The Cort and MAN show. Because Fatty thinks he's ALL man. Except for the parts that are WIN. Also, Cort's wife guest stars, Spinal Tap Tomfoolery, and a tag-team review of WATCHMEN: Why it works, doesn't work, and will ultimately fail.

Cort and Fats take an hour off to Watch the Watchmen. But in their place, they leave a spirited discussion about banning pitbulls, Bears vs Kathleen Turner, Sam Elliott sightings in the deli aisle, and face-eating kitties in Cort's Pants.

Cort and Fats watch the watchmen with Baby Rorschach. Also, Aaron Duran gets his Trek on, Mike Russell expounds at podcast length on things both Star Wars and Stevie Wonder, Dave Walker gets giddy for DC Cab, and Podcast only sex advice.

Cort and Fats and Starscream and Cobra Commander and Chris Cornell and Dyno-Chickens. Also, Byron Beck talks all things wangalicious. And why wouldn't he. Big Jim draws out drunk stories from the Cap'n, and Greg Oden's future is mused upon.

Things Cort wants to do to Fatboy. Email Races. WB tries to ruin Rock Band. MR T will never be the same. Breaking down Obama's Blah blah. How Joe Biden solves problems. Why Metallica is still together. Beavers. and Podcast Only Love.

Cort and Fats talk Blue Collar Tweekers with LES CLAYPOOL of Primus. Also, the absurdity of a 32 year old SUPERBOY, Skeezy G and the Baker Mountain Boys, Big Jim learns why Fat Tuesday isn't a big deal up here, and lots and lots of podcast only love.

Stuff and Things.

All Hail Megatron! And Zod. but not Aquaman. Mike Russell talks FU and the Oscars, and amazingly, they're linked! Also, who watches the watchmen? We do. The plan to feed Portland at the Polar Plunge, and Cort's plumbing perfume problem with podcast only love.

Live from The Agency in Downtown Portland, the return of awkward off-air conversations, including Drew Carney of KGW, Byron Beck of Byronbeck.com, and Portland Trailblazer Martell Webster. Radio vs. Newspapers vs. Jason Voorhees, and thumb-wars.

Cort and Fats go fast: A Movie Douche that goes all the way to NEW YORK CITY, Daren brings a beer that is lethal in it's awesomeness, the Attorney General thinks you're a pussy, Big Jim Tells time w/ buffaloes, and podcast only love for the podcasters.

Cort start show sad. What make Cort feel better? Fatboy stab. Fatboy lungs knocked out. Story about angry chimpanzee eating faces. Also featuring podcast only chester-love, things that are wrong with Donald Trump, and slap-happy Freg Beardknee.

Cort and Fats and the war on Sweatpants, and being ripped off by "legitimate" broadcasters. Plus, JEFF HARDY maybe possibly spoils a Wrestlemania matchup and answers the classic Fight Club question. The Punk Show Thunderdome, and Podcast-Only Presidents love.

You'd almost never know it was Valentine's Day tomorrow: Aaron Duran and Mike Russell talk Jason. Dave Walker talks Jason, Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Fats blasphemes Lord Whedon. And Van from Rock Bottom talks Beer. So Boobs, Beer and Blood TONITE.

A Time Machine takes the Backstage Blog back to 1998, and an alternate universe Captain is steering the ship. Big Jim revives the mixtape, BYRON BECK details the bone-spirations of one Beau Breedlove, Dark Comet vs Dark Knight, and Brett Favre's bye-bye.

Drinking With Daren is cool. Backstage Blog is funny, Cort comes up with a concept for Cloverfield 2 on accident. People talk about imaginary movies like T3 and Alien 4. Dirty Laundry is kinda assy, and Movie Douche is a pile of s**t. whatever.

A Versus so contentious, Big Jim had to settle it: BEARS VS. SHARKS. The results may shark you. Get it? Harf harf hurm ahem fart. Also: G-E-I-C-O, Is Obama a Nazi baby-eater, Van Damme and Voltron, Googling English Slang, and podcast-only NSFW love.

The best weddings ever are moderated by Cort and Fatboy...as Batman and Jason...in kilts. Also, A-Roid hurf hurf durf hurf, A Thunderdome that turns Cort against Big Jim forever, home heating tips for the cheap and monoxide poisoned, and TV eyes.

NEIL GAIMAN gives a podcast-only interview on Coraline, French Canadian Journalism, and Batman. Mike Russell gives the secret to avoiding Chick Flicks forever, Aaron Duran gets geeky, Dave Walker talks Yetis, and Drew Carney Explains Himself.

The Kisstermath: Portland finally recognizes how weird it was that Drew Carney kissed Fats in the Face. Byron Beck weighs in on Cort\'s wardrobe and finds it Braff-ian. Jacques Boyreau gets SuperTrashy, Nazi Zombie Raptors, and NSFW Podcast only guest stars.

What if Xenomorphs came with cup holders? Why does Derek Smalls talk to Harry Shearer? Why is Cort's Fatboy impersonation so awful? What got Beau Bridges banned from Movie Douche? And what is Daren Drinking tonight? Plus LYING MORMONS!

Cort and Fats talk superhero jedi comedians with CHRIS EVANS. Learn how our ancestors had Nutcracker Jaws, thrill to the NSFW remixed Batman Love, Which one of your MySpace friends was a Chi-Mo, and the man-on-man kiss that will shock you! not really.

Cort and Fats get all Wild Kingdom on your asses: Examining the Rise of the Nutria, and how they're coming for your dogs. Also, Your Family is Going to Kill You, podcast only promo-bloopers, Lessons in Wessyde etiquette, and a thunderdome with plenty beaver.

Cort and Fatboy talk Neil Gaiman with Aaron Duran, and bear witness to FIFTY THROATCHOPS with Mike Russell, and debate the finer points of stripping to Metallica with David Walker, and bust recessions and churn butter with Kelly Clarke from Willy Week.

Cort and Fats discover a secret subculture: Gun Enthusiasts who murder phonebooks. Byron Beck maligns Fatty's upbringing and lures him into a Spelling Contest. Someone stupid had a baby. Fatboy plays the Bass! Matt Damon! Matt Damon! MATT DAMON.

Cort and Fatboy wonder why Peanut Butter is trying to kill us, why America lost it's leno-loving mind, A Movie Douche that starts exuberant and ends depressed, What is wrong with Mickey Rourke, and Daren brings a Zappa-inspired ale. W/ Podcast Only Love.

Cort gets skeeved by Fatty\'s lotiony charms. Also: Fats explains why kids are no damn good, and a kid closes the door on tonight\'s controversial VS. Big Jim comes up with an interesting little economic plan, A/V Club: The Clipshow gets rejected.

Cort and Fats are ordained ministers now? Why wouldn't they ply their trade at a Monster Truck Rally? That makes sense, right? Also, a UV Powered Thunderdome, how not having kids will save the economy, and Gran Torino: Rise of the Octogenarians.

Cort and Fats and LYCANS! With Mike Russell talking Oscars, podcast-only style, Aaron Duran getting So Super Duper, and Dave Walker getting delirious. Also, Battlestar talk, Minions For Hire, and things and stuff. GO HOME AND BE A FAMILY MAN.

Cort and Fats and Byron Beck with a peek at Sam's Side of this whole "The Mayor and the Lie" situation in City Hall. Also, Batman reacts to the Oscar snub, Historians react to GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and Cort is chock full of vitamin WTF.

Cort and Fats discuss Team Shrinkage with Drew Carney of KGW. Also, Daren tantalizes with the topic of BEER CAKE. The laziest reporting on USA Today ever, Obama's Balls, A Meh Movie Douche, Brimleymonsters, and Michael Bay's: The Bible.

Because Portland can't keep anything nice: On Inauguration Day, more details on our lyin-ass-mayor come out. Also, murderous cows lying in wait for you to cross them, that is, if homicidal peanut butter doesn't get you first. Plus HERC from AICN!

Cort and Fats and how family tragedy can make YOU money. Also, Oprah smokes rocks, Ancient artifacts of an ancient time: Album Covers. Plus, a Thunderdome paying respect to Minorities in Rock, and why you aren't President: Not enough Situps.

Cort and Fats and BATTLESTAR AT THE BAGDAD. Plus Jacoby Shaddix gets gangsterish, Mike Russell channels Woody Allen, Aaron Duran teaches us all about the Toltecs, and wonders why Dead Crispy Batman gets no press. And Dave Walker is a REAL MAN.

Cort and Fats and Byron Beck talk Tuffskins, Make-a-Muppets, and whether Kazaam and Obama will be hanging out come next Tuesday. And HERCULES THE STRONG from Aint It Cool.com reviews the first new episode of BSG. Plus: Man-O-Grams.

Cort and Fats mourn the loss of a man's man, a MACHO, man, Ricardo Montalban. Also, Daren brings a little asian flavor News with added "Buh," there's a fight over umlauts, and maybe one of the most painful Movie Douches ever ensues. With Pod-Only love.

Cort and Fats and BOURNE AND BOND - A Versus that will kill your ass with a rolled up newspaper and sup a tasty martini afterwards. Also, why Dave shouldn't look at Eddy, Why Mark and Tom need to do this for Travis, and MATLOCK, BITCHES! With pod-only love.

Today's show brought to you by Diabetes, Cocaine, Vampire Brimley, and the letter T. Co-Starring Courtney Love, Jedi Dogs, Telekinetic Helmets, and Mount Mr. T, the only mountain in the world with a Mohawk. Podcast only booty-shaking music for you.

Aaron Duran talks s**t. Literally. As in Marlon Brando's. Mike Russell reviews "Lovable Racist Grandpa: The Movie," David Walker dissects the latest Direct to DVD Van Damage, Cort gives science lessons, and The Battlestar at the Bagdad Blooper Reel.

Cort and Fats get saucy with Byron Beck, and sell some panache with Precious Roy. Also - should you be told at the fast food counter how many calories you're going to shove in your face? Would you eat Body Steak? And are the Blazers screwed?

Prof. Daren Moriarty returns for the first Drinking With Daren of 09. Also: Chris Hansen's formula is rewritten and perfected, Movie Douche is a roller coaster ride down a mountain named EPIC, and Podcast Only Police Blotter tales.

The Glorious return of VERSUS matches up two titans of the fast food frontier: McDonalds vs Burger King. Who REALLY wears the crown? Also - Brazen Burglaries, "Explosions, The Movie (A Michael Bay Film)" and Big Jim's and Follicle Dyslexia.

Cort and Fats prove a couple things: Science + Britain is a bad idea. Science + Jagermeister is a bad idea. War + Fast Food is a great idea. And Tag Team Thunderdome breaks out between the DB's (Douchebags) and the PD's: Chris Patyk and Rick Emerson.

The Last Show of 08 is a plethora of Podcast-Only loveliness. A Cort Christmas Kiss is given to a lucky listener, art alexakis throws one last hail mary, Aaron Duran gets geek heretical, and the worst magic trick ever. w/ Mike Russell and Dave Walker.

Do any weathermen in Portland have balls anymore? Cort and Fats find the answer. Also, Racism doesn't take a holiday, Recession Claus wears Toughskins, Fidelity tests get sniffalicious, and Byron Beck's Window looks at your holiday plans.

Cort and Fats and the FAIL IN THE SKY: How Portland's weatherpeople are full of crap. Also, Drinkin with Daren and CRAIG NICHOLS of Roots Organic Brewery and the best Holiday Ale ever made. Plus Stump the Movie Douche and Ben Affleck saves the world??

Cort and Fatboy talk TV Showrunning with MARK VERHEIDEN of BSG and HEROES. Will Sylar continue to be a big pussy? Is Boxey the Fifth? Also, how best to combat sun and bare pavement on your winter commute, and things Kirsten Dunst looks like.

Recession Claus brings gifts to those who know they po'. Also, Battlestar at the Bagdad gets blabbed about, The Economic Lessons of the Alien Trilogy (what 4th movie?) Sharon Osborne is a flabby bag of crap--and Thunderdome! Oh, it snowed, too.

In Lieu of the fact today we're running an all-day-telethon, The Cap and myself decided instead of listening to us hustle for donations to help the children, we're replaying CBS RADIO THEATER from AM 970. Enjoy.

Cort and Fats and THE CHIN: BRUCE CAMPBELL, doing that movie promotion thing for MY NAME IS BRUCE. Byron Beck tries to tame the burly beast that is Cort's masculine ass, Cort's wife gives you a peek into their bedroom, and Podcast Only Love.

Cort and Fats and the goofiest role play you ever heard in your life. Also, the return of The Douche to the Afternoons and the rise of the Rally Cap'n Dirk Sonofabitch Chestington. Daren Drinks of Gresham's nectar, and Podcast only Love in your pants.

Cort and Fats get schooled by a 9 year old on the subject of women. Also, Pac-Man's nationality: REVEALED. The long awaited sequel to Ro-Sham-Bo: INVENTED. Obama's Zunegate scandal rolls ever onward, and Batman guest stars in the A/V Club.

Cort and Fats and their first day back in afternoons. What the hell happened, and how did it come to this? Questions are lobbed, caught, batted back and bunted. With podcast-only, too-raw-for-air call-ins, some ha-ha's, and a lotta bewilderment.

A Scrum-diddly-umptious mess. Jean-Claude Van Damme makes Mike Russell cry, Will Eisner inspires Aaron Duran, Dave Walker forgoes candy for porn, Aliens possess the body of Stevie Ray Vaughan live on air, and podcast only deepness.

Cort and Fats get shocked by Byron Beck's bringing STORM LARGE and JAMES WESTBY, director of "THE AUTEUR." find out what might get Storm naked onscreen, and Westby's favorite scene. Plus, should you date your friend's ex, and Ammun-Ra: The TV Show?

Cort gets one more year older on this, his crappy little birthday. Daren of Drinking with Daren gets a brand new title, Fatboy portrays the dual roles of Cort's War Machine AND his Undies in a one-man-play, and Santa Civil War + gangbangers.

Cort and Fats and the mystery of the Dog-Bringers: Why are there so many mutts at work nowadays? Also discussed - why breast cancer gets more love than nut cancer, Cort's prowess at news scooping, and a horrible medical stat that will skeeve you out.

Cort and Fats Return! Be regaled with tales of Mexican Seafood (with podcast only love from Kurt Cobain) Dirty Dancing in the NW, Axl Rose and his Bear Claws of doom, and a revelation from Cort so sneaky you may not even notice he dropped it.

Cort and Fats and Mike Russell playing with a big bucket of toys while reviewing Van Dammage. Aaron Duran reminds us that meatnuts are coming and talks JLA vs Avengers, Dave Walker talks kung-fu and werewolves, and uninspired clockwatching ensues.

Cort and Fats and Eddie Spaghetti of the Supersuckers discussing brew, parties, and why they picked Seattle to call home. Also, Byron Beck launches version 2.0 of his career on the show. And scientists weigh in on whether Zombie Vampires are possible.

Cort and Fats and holy JESUS one packed f**kin show. Mark Arm of Mudhoney talks a little bit, Daren drinks with Jamie Floyd of Ninkasi Brewing and Preston Weesner of the Holiday Ale Fest, and the Final episode of George Dub. Ever. Plus Movie Douche.

Cort and Fats and JEFF AMENT discuss Green River, Eddie's intelligibility, and the plight of the Sonics. Also, fashion tips for housepainters, why the Army thinks beards are teh suck, and Cort's wife give the most accurate review of Twilight ever.

Cort and Fats and DAVEY NIPPLES reminiscing on the days when grunge roamed the earth, Art scorched some bridges, and silly string paved the way to madness. Also: Meh gains legitimacy, Obama succumbs to some Wharrgarbl, and Podcast Only loveliness...

Cort and Fats and a whole buncha nerdery: Mike Russell talks remakes and revenge Bond-style, Aaron Duran calls out enemy projectionists and gushes about the Trek Trailer, Dave Walker gets in the pit and calls out Kimbo, and Chad from Mudvayne drinks beer.

Cort and Fatboy and SUCKAZ GETTING TOLD, SON. O SNAP. Also, Byron Beck gets laid...off. The tale told for the first time tonight. Plus, Fatboy's secret comedic weakness, the secrets of Shake and Bake, and Cort's superhero secret identity REVEALED!

Cort and Fatboy and Puppies and Monopoly: The Movie and puppies and Drinking with Daren and Puppies and Dr. Gonzo and puppies and brand new George Dub and Puppies and the worst Stump the Movie Douche for Moms ever. And puppies.

Cort scares Fats with tales of storms and demons and their weapons of torrential dampness. Also, the history of Karate, complaining callers demonstrating the definition of counterproductive, and podcast only loveliness for you podcasters.

Cort and Fats and the Dasani Debacle: Who the hell wants to drink Willamette River water? Also, how to get Obama's attention at a rally, Arnie goes to bat for the wang, The Best Chocolate you ever tasted, and Thunderdome that makes you say Oh.

Cort and Fats and the return of Ribcage, the filthiest Craigslist ever read aloud, Mike Russell loves the larpiness of Role Models, Duran talks Dead..Evil Dead, and Dave Walker talks turkey. Or chicken, actually. Poultrygeists, to be exact.

Cort and Fats learn the secrets of fish sticks, the cleansing power of Fire, and why religions based on Evil Dead won't work. Also, Byron Beck gets heated, Jessica Simpson eats a lot, and some special podcast-only loveliness for you lovelies.

Remember, Remember...Cort and Fats discuss a world where Michael Bay is king, where a Fox can cling, where a Douche can sing, and where a Bush can ring. Brand new GWB, and a Sober Daren brings Brrrr to the table. Plus, splodies and booms.

Cort and Fatboy talk to Jefferson Smith of the Bus Project about ticks and bowling. Axl Rose guarantees his new album will be roughly 23% suck, George Lucas beats a dead tauntaun till he huffs fumes, and uh..Oh yeah, we elected a president tonight.

Cort and Fats get a last run of rhetoric before Election Night: Is Barack more like BarACKBAR? or LandOBAMA? Also, Sarah Palin is pretty gullible, The 3 Stooges are pimps, Cort's Squint is majestic, and Thunderdome gets all kinds of heated.

Cort and Fats bring Portland's High Priest of the Paranormal, CLYDE LEWIS of GROUND ZERO RADIO to eff your head up with voices from beyond. Mike Russell talks RocknRolla, Aaron Duran brings the Joker, and Dave Walker brings Zombie Strippers.

Cort and Fats run the gamut in these dying days of the silly season: If Ash was president, what would his cabinet be? If you were Byron Beck, what political shindig would you throw? Plus, Ligers, Liars and Odens, Oh my! With podcast only heated throwdowns.

Cort and Fats: A radio burger with tasty buns, or a sugary auditory confection on an elastic necklace? Washed down with a tangy brew courtesy of a drunk Daren, preceded by a mid-meal break for Movie Douchery. Plus new GWB and Podcast Only Love.

Cort and Fatboy witness Sarah Palin gone rogue, Steve Perry vs Brendan Fraser at the center of the earth, and BOBBY HACKER and TRAVIS JONES, the director and star of the CARS TRILOGY. Checkbooks are gotten out, good sirs. With podcast love.

Cunning Linguists are in agreeance: Tonight's Cort and Fatboy is worderiffic. The wonders of onomatopoeia, the mystery behind british slang, and how to talk trash Capt Dirk Chestington style. All this and Thunderdome too!

Dave Walker remembers Rudy Ray Moore and his close friend Doug, both of whom passed this week. His recommendations are in their memory, and in your best interests. Mike Russell takes one for the team, and Aaron Duran gets gooey with Yoggoths.

Cort and Fats talk to the mayor. Seriously, Mayor Sam Adams holds court with Byron Beck while Storm Large sings at The Nines Grand Opening party. Plus, tales of SCIENCE, Phone fail of an epic degree, Political Muggings, and Metallified Madness.

Cort turns into Peter Brady, and Fats turns into Dr. Girlfriend. The Program Director turns into Gaybe Kaplan and the whole show gets stuck in a malaise of mediocrity that may or may not be amusing. Sorta. kinda. with brand new GWB loveliness.

More Metallified TV tunes for your listening pleasure, maybe, kinda? What disease ridden crack has your dad dragged you to on vacation? How stripping in Australia works, and Fatty acts like a typical radio talent (An asshead) to get attention from the president.

A bad day for Chris Hansen, a good day for Dirk Sonofabitch Chestington, a chance to be heroes in the midst of a mist, Young Fatboy as a bus-beating Badass, The titans get clashed, Marilyn Manwich is born, and Cort goes for 4 in the Thunderdome.

Mike Russell gets his hoo-ha confused during Max Payne, Aaron Duran loses his s**t talking Star Trek and Freddy. And Jason. And Ash. Dave Walker finally gets around to Flight of the Living Dead, Watchmen Tales are told, and Frank Caliendo goes off.

Cort and Fats and LUNCHBOX HIMSELF, KEVIN SMITH. Silent Bob speaks Zack, Miri, Spock and Dr. Manhattan. Also, Byron Beck gets drunk on moonshine and beefheart, Joe the Plumber's secrets revealed, and probably the worst bet in the whole world.

The show detonates a mere 1 minute in, as Storm Large and Byron Beck explode on the scene out of frakking nowhere to talk politics and Fatty groping. Plus debate dissection, Stump the Movie Douche, Drinking with Daren, and the 100th Episode of GWB.

Haunted houses, Logs, syphilitic pioneers, more logs, Great Moments in Furry history, Spoilers for the final presidential debate, logs on leashes, fistfuls of movie news, the worst father in the world for a day, Hockey vs Def Leppard. And logs.

Cort destroys the myth of the Muppets, Fatty herniates something in the Thunderdome, Cleveland's claim to fame gets real ugly, and Art Alexakis marshals the forces of unshaven hippie chicks against him. Co-starring McCain, Palin, Putin and Buttrockets.

Mike Russell talks cat tats, Aaron Duran gets in a beethoven flavored mexican wop-off whilst surrounded by PIGEONS FROM HELL, and Dave Walker has his own horrific Pigeon Story while waiting on a midnight meat train. With tigers and sodomy flavored ice cream.

Jesus Christ...is probably the only person who DIDN'T guest on today's show: Excerpts from Fatty's appearance on Rick Emerson. Byron Beck. Storm Large. Kaebel Hashitani of Sequential Art Studios. Cort's Brother. Abraham Lincoln. And Podcast Only love.

Cort and Fats start meaty, get silky smooth, and then just spill all over the place: Brand new GWB, Arm Transplants, McCain's Meathead-Made Medicine, Travis Barker's Krueger-wang, Kenya gets grounded, and Daren gets drinking. w/Podcast Love.

Counting Cheetos with Cort and Fatboy: How not to get fat and have your car kicked in by chubby moped riders. Also, Debate commentary starring Buffalo Bill and Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Weezer Dreams, Dogbutt on a string, and podcast only blasphemy.

Just another Random Monday: Papal Financial Advice, Fatboy's celebrity nicknames, wedding well wishes from Eddie Van Halen, the Wharrgarbl phenomenon explored, Pac-Pumpkins and homicidal snowmen, and a Thunderdome battle brought to you by J.

Eric D. Snider fills in and for Mike Russell (think about it for a second). Also, Aaron Duran digs deep into Ghostbusters lore, Dave Walker tells tales of Ray Parker and Zombie originators, and the first ever Film Fever Streetfight breaks out.

Byron Beck lovin live from a restaurant hot-tub? Go Behind the curtain at the Emerson roast just long enough for Fatty to go shirtless. Plus an actual serious political debate between cort and fatty. Plus Sleep remedies, mary Poppins, and more...

The Show Starts with a special Top 5 excerpt from our homeboy RICK EMERSON's show, starring Cap'n Dirk Chestington at his most vulnerable. And then there's red rockets, pantlessness, Drinking with Daren, movie douching, and gonzo George W. Bush Buddy!

A podcast only blast from the past regarding dogs, and how best to NOT treat them. A conspiracy of the ears is unleashed, Pants are filled, Historical Wangs are explored, and Snow on Mars might make this economy thing a moo point.

What does Failout 2008 mean for you? Mindless observations on Veep Ass. Plus something smelling vaguely of Alpo, Laffy Taffy Hour with Cort and Fatboy, A Thunderdome for the ages, how you can get a free Dr. Pepper ANYWHERE, and podcast only love.

UFC HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION RANDY COUTURE: does he leave Cort and Fats hanging or does he choke em out over the phone? Mike Russell enjoys his Choke, Aaron Duran talks porn and zombies, Dave Walker pays respect to Dabney Coleman. W/ Cort's stuffed Bear.

Cort and Fats bring Byron Beck bearing beef brain. What exactly is he beating on Fatty's Face? Find out within. Also, Vending Machine Bailouts, Obama Beer, Wang Stories, and a VS. that shows Portland's True Colors: Bikes vs Cars. The results are shockin.

The world is spinning too fast for Cort and Fats. That's why Letterman opens the show. Daren still closes it out with a quality brew, art infiltrates the douche, One of the most gonzo G-Dub's ever, and and podcast only behind the scenes info sprinkled in.

RICHARD PATRICK of Filter talks about growing up with the T-1000, and Trent Reznor's linebacker side. AARON DOUGLAS of Battlestar Galactica lets loose some set secrets and Stories of Olmos. Plus all our regular everyday crap is included as well.

Cort and Fats and Shuvs and Zuuls and GHOSTBUSTERS ON THE BIG SCREEN. Also, Croco-hookers on 82nd Ave, Led Zeppelin's mystery scab, The secret pleasures of REAL MEN, Naked Hippies, A Raider Fan's lament, and of course, THE THUNDERDOME.

Mike Russell reviews David Walker's new film, and out-frowns Sam Jackson. Aaron Duran brings his friend Lagunitas to review Scott Pilgrim, and David Walker pimps David Walker's new film while using zombies to help sell David Walker's New film.

Is this the best show ever? ever ever? Rowdy Roddy Piper and his son Colt say maybe. Byron Beck and our farting president say possibly. Jack White and Alicia Keys think it could be. A viking and a God say why not. Find out for yourself. Podcast only love.

Cort and Fats shoot the breeze with Brendan Benson of the Raconteurs. Daren makes his drinking return this week, Movie Douche gets Choked out, the longest episode of George Dub ever, leet haxors, and podcast only paranoia regarding Epic Lulz.

Cort and Fatboy and Alligators and paralyzed tweekers and 12 year old Goth Girls and Trent Reznor and the truth about Awesome's affordability and Douglas Adams gets sold out. Plus podcast only love, Kenyan Witch Hunters, and Songs for the Deaf/Mute.

Cort and Fatboy survive the Muffin Feed of 08, Cort catches cops in chest hair, Fats flubs and fails in Thunderdome, Should hooking be off the hook? Also, podcast only goodies for the podcasters, with segments chock full of faaah.

Featuring local gods Floater getting down Handbanana style, Crystal Kash brings the Batter Blaster, Big Jim's rockfest memories, and ADAM CAROLLA essentially co-hosts the last half of the show. Plus muffins and deez nuts.

The triumphant return of VS gets serious: DeNiro vs Pacino. Byron Beck gets all Woodward and Bernstein on Cort's personal history while Fats starts the segment with his head in Byron's Crotch. Also: Sharks, Tabs, Mutton and Mead on Rockfest Eve.

Cort and Fatboy get a call from the KUFO marketing queen, forecasting Friday Muffin Precipitation. Also, the internet is taken over by The Riddler, Rockfest is taken over by Gremlins, and Movie Douche is taken over by suckage. and new GWB.

Cort and Fats endure one of the biggest WTF episodes ever, starring the most drunk person in the entirety of Portland, the particle collider and the creatures in The Mist, A rain of muffins, and MMA Treasure Hunting in the California Desert.

Cort and Fatboy look for answers to important questions concerning tire fires and public transit farm animals. Also, fun facts about Sarah Palin, A serious musing on Nicolas Cage's shining star, and the ability to rain pastries is discovered.

Mike Russell is amazed by Cort's Cockfightin' swagger, Aaron Duran discusses Superhero Political Homicide, Spidey 4 and Racism in the South in a Podcast Only rant session, Dave Walker gets Bangkok Dangerous, and a new Rockfest Friend is announced.

PODCAST ONLY UNCUT RAW HENRY ROLLINS INTERVIEW for a freakin HALF-HOUR STRAIGHT he goes off and drops science. Also, Byron Beck reveals the secret to scoring VIP access, Ghostbusters 3 is a go, and Rev Run blesses Rockfest in a mostly political episode.

PATTON OSWALT gets comfy with Cort and Fats and the city of Portland, Brand new George W. Bush Boy Prez with the first ever Podcast Only BLOOPER REEL, Stump The Movie Douche gets malevolent, and Daren rolls solo with a growler of goodness.

Cort almost dies, Jerry Reed DOES die, so does the movie guy, and Fatboy almost kills the show in a massive trainwreck during the A/V Club. Also, Sarah Palin: Would you hit it like an angry god, or like a Mike Tyson fist? The questions you want answered!

Cort and Fats discuss why just wandering the streets should become a kid activity again, the secret society of Chubby Chasers with Byron Beck, The ridiculousness of Cher as Catwoman, why the NFL is better than College Football, and podcast only love.

Cort and Fats lament an America that no longer appreciates things like Neil Diamond and interstellar tampon safety. featuring a Movie Douche RIPOFF CONTROVERSY, Drinking with Daren building cities around the Lucky Lab, and brand new GWB: Boy Prez.

Cort and Fats consider starting a film festival to celebrate the accidentally homosexual classics of the past. Plus, another Uwe Boll masterpiece unveiled, another Metallica song dissected, The Manliest Woman on Earth, and stick figure genitalia.

Cort worries that he might be raising a little Martin Blank-ette, Fats schools kids on radical mastectomy, why speedwalking almost ruined the world, how Shia can save it, and a Thunderdome brought to you by the letter F..and Batman.

Cort and Fats spoil Obama's big Veep announcement, Aaron Duran runs down Death Race, praises being Too Cool to Be Forgotten, and increases speed on renaming 42nd, and Dave Walker talks swords, slang and asskicking, Korean style.

Byron Beck schools the straight on how lotion and fish can get you laid. Also, the truth about Michael Phelps, a Brand New Metallica song is dissected in depth, McCain's latest political pratfall, and podcast-only blasts from the past.

Cort needs drugs, Fatty needs a massage, and Movie Douche gets all kinds of ridiculiciously insane. Also, the most profane George W. Bush ever, Barack Obama's missing little brother, and Daren brings in a bagful of dicks to drink.

Whole lotta Whoa infused in the mediocrity tonight. Cort's back gets a knot, Living Gods explain the human liver, Obama's VP nominee has horrible crabs, Terminators scissor me timbers, The first ever grindhouse video game, and podcast only knottiness.

A lot of loafing, literally, leads off the alliterative linguistics of Cort and Fatboy. Also, one of the best Thunderdomes ever, a game called Know Your Narcotics, The Life of Leto and the Allure of Shia, and Mexico's Pepper pranks on the FDA.

Mike Russell breaks down the Clone Wars, Aaron Duran wars with Zombies and Robots, and tries to get a street named after Douglas Adams, Dave Walker remembers Isaac Hayes, and Jacques Boyreau of Supertrash gets on the phone. w/podcast only art love.

Cort and Fats welcome Byron Beck back and find out rich people in P-town chug moonshine. Also, Butter Brickle Apocalypse, Batman's Lisp, Nilla Wafer Decapitation, and The History of Cort pt 1 amongst the podcast only loveliness.

Cort and Fats take pleasure in other people's perception of pain - aka we laugh at funny noises really loudly. Also, SEASON 7 PREMIERE OF GEORGE W. BUSH BOY PRESIDENT, Clyde Lewis' BIGFOOT, Stump the movie douche, and Drinking with Daren is go-go-tastic.

Fats administers a masculinity test for the listeners, and discovers what whiskey is made of wizard sleeves. Cort and Fats share stories of wang insertion, and basically all sorts of juvenility ensues, along with international flame wars and mutant food.

Mediocrity returns from Vacation with a show powered largely by ancient pop-culture references ham-handedly delivered. Like any other show. Featuring McCain, Russia, Bush, Olympic ass, beating victims, cummerbund placenta, and new diet plans.

A drunken-ish blowout of mildly mediocre proportions with Podcast-only madness galore, FEATURING: The Critic Showdown between Mike Russell and Aaron Duran. It made the Geek in the City start sweating. Plus Dave Walker gets his hate on. Seeya next week.

Cort and Fats and Rabbit and Foster: Interviews with Erik Stolhanske and Paul Soter of Broken Lizard on the eve of the Super Troopers screening, as well as promises of drunken broadcasts, golden discipline, and the many voices of Fatboy. With podlove.

Cort and Fatboy jump on the investigative journalism bandwagon. Well, more like they skateboard off the back bumper while Willamette Week does all the work. Plus Movie Douche, Boneless kids, and Drinking with Daren brew reviews.

Mysteries solved by Cort and Fats in tonights show: Why tough guys walk slow in the intersection. The reason Shia LeBeouf is so dreamy. The reason Jerry Lewis carries a gun. How to use Fatboy's name to get free stuff. And what the new Bond will sound like.

Cort and Fatboy discuss ALF's new body, the wisdom of Wharrgarbl, and the sublimeness of cakefarts.com. Plus the show gains a historian and Dan Clark of Pop Culture Zoo meets Six and Starbuck. Plus tots, Fatty's mom, and podcast only love.

Mike Russell brings gifts of mediocrity to the lords of it, in the Screen Test. Dan Clark and Dave Walker combine to pipe San Diego down phone lines, and Aaron Duran regales with tales of the craziest indie comic you've ever heard of. Podcast-only love, too.

Cort and Fatboy get into the comedy sciences during vs. Farley vs. Belushi. Master vs. Apprentice. Also, Dan Clark of Pop Culture Zoo hangs out with Neo at Comic-Con, christian bale calls in with expected results, and Favre twists the knife.

More Willy Week fallout, and it tastes sorta like fail mixed with win. Dan Clark of Pop Culture Zoo reports live from Comic-Con, Daren drinks up in honor of Lagunitas and Frank Zappa, and Stump the Movie Douche brings people together. With urine.

Byron Beck of the Willamette Week hangs some interesting news on Cort and Fats on his Best of Portland Media Tour. Also, podcast only fun, freestyle songsmanship by Fats in the A/V club, Cort rails against horse whisperers, and the glory of Broken Lizard.

Fatboy Roberts is: The Accidental Pothead. What comedy of errors led to a weed bomb being set off in Fatty's nervous system? Also, Cort turns into the one-man nickname generator, Kid Rock's psyche is explored, and Thunderdome is B-tastic!

I hope you like Batman. Mike Russell goes overtime fielding questions about "The Dark Knight" (beware, it enters spoiler territory from 16:19-26:45) Aaron Duran highlights the massive failure that is Frank Miller, and Dave Walker gets gangsterish.

The Dark Knight premiere goes off...or does it? Live reports from the line (or lack of one) lead to warnings against strangers with couches and vans. Adidas and Nike get their kicks during VS, Cort invents a new sandwich, and it rains infants.

Cort and Fats are besieged on all sides by pressing insanities: Joker/wolf abductions, assault via massengill, Living gods, Wackitude, and even Drinking with Daren gets in on the action, bringing in a can of chub. With podcast only love.

Cort and Fatboy try to get to the bottom of men stinking like cheap toilet water as a means to impress women. Also, Courtney Love is an attention whore, Rampage Jackson doesn't understand how hit and runs work, and podcast only black rage for that ass.

The Boys saw Dark Knight but don't want to rub in their geek glee. What better way than to discuss the war between cyclists and motorists? Also Ammon-Ra tries to marry into weirdo royalty, and Thunderdome is brought to you by the letter A.

Mike Russell turns his iPhone into a lightsaber and journeys earthward with Hellboy. Aaron Duran loves him some fishmen, and digs into a filthy PODCAST-ONLY debate the kids can't listen to. Dave Walker wars with Zombies, and Cort and Fatboy get toasty.

Cort and Fats smash two glorious wheeled warriors together in tonight's VS: Franklin Roosevelt vs Christopher Reeve. Also, lewdness in the Winco line, The Living God works overtime, John McCain's off button is colored viagra, and podcast-only lovins.

Cort and Fatboy get all kinds of inquisitive and uber-wordy while examining Absinthe, Cyclists, and magnetized rock coffins. Also, the worst ending to Movie Douche ever, and Drinking with Daren gets all doppelgangery and other forms of german.

Cort and Fatboy explore the lunacy and the sanity of repeated beatings. children, loved ones, Bill Cosby: Beatings for EVERYONE. beatings for Speed Racer, beatings for Tony Danza, beatings for the RIAA, We beat you because we love you.

Fresh from Fourth of July vacation, Cort and Fats ease back into mediocrity on a cloud of illegality, the smugness of Al Gore, the awesomeosity of Barry O, and float like Stuart Scott's lazy eye. Plus Thunderdome and podcast love for Bill Hicks.

Cort and Fats skip out early, but they're bringing Mike Russell's screen test with them, . Also, Aaron Duran assists in the Movie Douchery, and Drinking With Daren brings brewmasters to the party. And Fats gets high on helium. With podcast only high-pitch.

Cort and Fats discuss the deplorable distraction of texting while driving, and the dumbest of all beverages: Milk. Also discussed? The return of Jesus 08: Now with way-strong pimp hand action. And the Schwarzenegger cut of Predator is revealed.

Why punching holes in space and time might not be a bad thing, Fatty's Batwings, Cort's ability to manipulate bees, A thunderdome that brings back ovarian activities, plus podcast only loveliness that scores both Cort and Fats afterlives.

Mike Russell traces the link from Idiocracy to Wall*E, Aaron Duran show heart of Bigfoot, Dave Walker has dead men on his chest and Soupy Sales on his mind, and Wanted is shot through the head as it should be. With Podcast only Bigfoot loveliness.

Aaron Duran unleashes a muy macho version of VS: Selleck vs Reynolds - the bash for the stache. Also, Lemur Women with kung-fu grip, and the mystery of internet anonymity blown to hell and back. Featuring porn by living God Amun-Ra, sponsored by Vicodin.

Cort and Fatboy comprehend a world ruled by the Grape Ape, Drinking With Daren breaks down the algebraic algorithms behind the brewing of beer, Ralph Nader and Tommy Lee share the same flavor of Moron, and a Movie Douche that cuddles you up.

ADAM YAUCH goes gunnin for documentary success, Mary Magdalene's corpse gets a prodding from the makers of Bloodline, the truth behind advertising in broadcasting is examined, How to turn DVD's into hallucinogens, and Amun-Ra bestows powers!

George Carlin dies on the same day God gets arrested and a war over BREAD breaks out. With podcast only explicit goodies of the salty old man variety, "art alexakis" gets off a couple good ones, and a thunderdome that swings stickers like swords.

Mike Russell gets his Monster Truck on, Aaron Duran envisions an empire of Meat, Dave Walker reviews an empire of meat more commonly known as Mandingo, Add liberal sprinklings of WTF, cookie monster, cars, and George W. Bush? Voila! Cort and Fatboy Friday.

CHUCK PALAHNIUK is unleashed on an unsuspecting audience. PAC-MAN is put back in his cage, LISTENER CHRIS is caught fibbing about his dating prowess, and greek goat sacrifices in both Iran and the Province of Washougal. Also: Shrubberies and robots.

Cort displays caution regarding raccoons and strip club steak. Fatboy makes roman decrees with Wilford Brimley. The kids go Drinking with Daren and take a trip on the more fruity side of brew-ha. Plus Obama Facts, flaming footbags and sexism.

Dirty Laundry gets a sequel and a subtitle, The Top Ten Portland Movies of all time gets a slap and a lash, the Lakers lose and lose HARD while Fatty laments the lack of Frobe, The Cap'n sets sail for fail by turning down a cozy.

Cort walks the sad side of alcoholism, Fats is given whole planets during the Thunderdome, What it means to be a Raider is discussed, Why Smurf Couture hasn't picked up amongst Portland's Elitists, and the weirdest George Dub ever made.

Dave Walker pulls double duty and lets us all in on some of his more fishy proclivities, while conducting screen tests in the B-Movie Minefield. Aaron Duran chows down with Ultimate Hulk, and in honor of McCain: Pottymouth Podcast Only goodies!

The most personal edition of versus yet. Also discussed: The Weiner Wars, Affleck's animal cracker fetish, pranks better than setting poop on fire, the Indy that could have been, Chris celebrates his birthday, and Cosby flavored podcast love.

Fatboy's Quantum Leap dance unveiled, Cort's Crazy Uncle Aspirations revealed, Barack Obama's smoky secrets, Sean Connery's confuses the movie douche, and Drinking With Daren pours some podcast only love on the history of Session beers. co-starring bi.

Fatboy throws Marshmallow fists in a fit of freshness. Cort counsels kids on McCains carbonated treachery. Ben Franklin: Wino or beer snob? How Chuck Norris will save the oil industry, and Obama's VP candidate list revealed. Plus podcast only love.

Cort and Fats get nice off the freshness. Don't know what it means? It's einsteinian, is what it is, along with equally genius decisions by The Zen Master, the First Zombie, The CEO's at Pepsi, And the drummer from Metallica. With all sorts of podcastlove.

Starring Mike Russell + Foot + Fist, Aaron Duran bringing Gay Superheroes to the Mix, Dave Walker's gastrointestinal theory of comedy, Fatboy's tummy-gremlins, Autistic Pimp Game, Blythe's FBI approved cookies, and horrific donut breasts.

Alien Robots that turn into Trucks vs Top Secret plastic 3/4 inch government specialists who shoot lasers. it's a nostalgia bloodbath. Plus the triumphant return of listener CHRIS, delicacies at the midnight movie, and the essence of Hockey. Byah.

Best. Podcast. Ever. Period, point blank. co-starring Drinking with Daren. Beer reviews, cylons, cake, CED's, movie douching, and so much podcast-only loveliness your head will spin like Fatty's at the end of Daren's beer review segment.

Cort's childhood shame, making friends at the midnight movie, special PODCAST ONLY dirty laundry co-starring a goat, Xbox achievements for your pants, and the reason why protests in portland suck for the most part: there's not enough comedy.

The Anthropological Pursuits of Drs. Cort and Fatboy, in regards to the comedic lineage of one Peter Puma, ESQ. Also, the definition of Cake Shots, a T-Shirt is born, Bears and Bears and BEARS oh my, and a Thunderdome that gets all kinds of gold.

Mike Russell brings fistfuls of meh and apologies on Spielberg's behalf. Aaron Duran tries to warn people off of a rump wrangling via comic-book Eminem. Dave Walker finds himself on the side of Metallica vs The Internet. Plus Goofy White Guys.

The 80's gets ripped in half when VS. pits Arnie against Sly. Which musclehead takes the crown once and for all? Also, more mennonite musings by Dr. Fatboy, alien anthropologist. Plus, bookended lesbians, podcast only love, and more Spinal Tap.

Yet another WTF Special in-store for you podcasters. It starts off normal: Cort laughing at others misfortunes. And then aliens and monkeys mind-controlling robots somehow happened. and then Movie Douche crashed and burned. And then Brett Ratner. WTF.

God of Smartasses HARRY SHEARER and JUDITH OWEN stop by in-studio to remember days of drive-bys past. And then the thrilling high-concept topic: What Animal Bit You? Plus what happens when you get meat in the A/V Club, and Podcast Only Love.

Screen Test Special Edition: Mike Russell comes not to bury Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but to "meh" it. Nigel Tufnel reveals secrets of Stonehenge. "The Quarter" gets a companion and The Rules of Shotgun are laid down.

How Hillary is like Harriet, how dogs can sniff cancer, Steven Tyler sniffs SOMETHING, and more pressure from Catamount Pictures to keep Oklahoma Smith and the Empire of the Glass Ribcage under wraps. plus Joke Telling 101 with Cort and Fats.

JEREMY PIVEN of TV's "entourage" gets political with Cort and Fats on the night of Oregon's Primary. Cort tells the tale of Stalking Power, Fats sings the praises of the tardshark, Pink Floyd fands get Deathcabbed, and Podcast Only loveliness to funkto.

A show that is sloppy, and drunk, but yet not sloppy drunk. Find out what liquored mediocrity + strenuous activity sounds like. And Indy IV is sorta reviewed. With Podcast Only child hatings from Bill Cosby. And a contentiously awesome Thunderdome.

Mike Russell puts the Ass in Aslan, Dave Walker hosts a female film fest for mildly felonious reasons, Aaron Duran shares the gift of Whiteout, Bowlers get crushed, Random Bushy is unleashed, and Podcast only singalongs to get you through the weekend.

We're taking the day off to mercilessly rip apart Rick Emerson and get drunk on a Thursday, which doesn't normally happen. Features remixes, some of the messageboard's most celebrated bits, and recycled mediocrity. Explicit Podcast Only stuff, of course.

95 Minutes of Geek and Fury. A special segment of the Rick Emerson show bleeds into Cort and Fats...co-starring Rick Emerson. And then a semi-serious treatise on race and the presidency, and most seriously--MORE ON THE A-TEAM MOVIE.

Cort doubts the eternal innocence of the Muppets, and the plot of the new A-Team movie is revealed. Tips on how to survive your next ice cream social, Precious Roy revived, markers being called in, and Fatty gets some Grease in his Guitar Hero IV.

Cort and Fatboy with belated mother's day love. If you know what I mean BYAH! Also, Squirrel: The Green Meat. T.O. is no Rosey Grier, new nicknames are tried out in the midst of a family-oriented Thunderdome, and Mr. T gives Podcast Only Love.

AUTHOR STEVE ALTEN (Meg, The Shell Game) scares the bejesus out of us, Mike Russell drinks in the candy celluloid of Speed Racer, Aaron Duran backs down Batman himself (and whores himself spectacularly) and Dave Walker goes on a Death Race.

Wherein Cort gets some Fatboy in his Marconi Show, and vice versa, in the name of charity and bowling and money-raising dominance. Featuring Jedi Twins, Clubber Lang, and President Alec Baldwin. Plus naked Jimi, Dumbass Barkley, and podcast only love.

MATT "THE LAW" LINDLAND on becoming a Lawmaker and fighting slander, BOBBY HACKER on directing an internet sensation and the getting out of f**king checkbooks, The 1 person Axl Rose has been nice to, and the Season 6 finale of GWB: Boy Prez.

Cort's parental advice involves laughing at misery with a camera, Fatboy's dillyboppered shame, The Castor Troy Corollary, the best talk break ever, and Podcast Only love from listener Brenda, along with all sorts of ridiculiciousness.

A Cinco De Mayo show full of angry bug clouds, Sea Lion Vigilantes, Ghetto Passes, Accidental Pinoys, a Thunderdome rape trade, and some of the most profane podcast-only tirades you've ever heard in your life. Happy 5th of May, Portland. VOTE!

Starring Mike Russell via Satellite, Dave Walker, Aaron Duran and his carton of 2%, The PD Chris Patyk, Bozyk, A little girl who likes Hannah Montana, tasteful smut and chocolate cake, Listener Shaun and Voltron, and about 300 Lebowskis.

The latest in weightloss trends: Crapbag, the Diet. Also, a VERSUS of proportions so epic David Lean couldn't film it: APPLES VS ORANGES. The comparisons stop TONIGHT. Plus podcast only love for you podcasters, as per usual, and Lebowskified clarification.

Putting the "War" in "Warning," A game of Movie Douche that comes with extra skullhumping, the penultimate episode of George W. Bush Boy President season 6, and then the Penultimate episode, drunk on sizzurp. Plus podcast only love.

In which the show pinballs off topic like a frenchman on absinthe--which happens to be bunk. Other busted myths: College is good for you, the west coast has the most potheads, big breasts are better. PLUS: the podcast only tale of crappypants.

In which Cort almost stabs his own brain out while Fatboy describes the sandwich trade in Salem. Will Oregon split into 2 states, and what can we trade for one of em? Roger Clemens likes 15 year olds, dude, and Thunderdome gets extra stomptastic.

Mike Russell keeps bouncing with Baby Mama and tries to sing shapes into existence, Aaron Duran disparages George Peppard's name (podcast only style) and Dave Walker is a Skrull. And the 4 lights strike back with a podcast-only fury. Full of vitamin OMG.

NICHOLAS GUREWITCH of the PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP discusses the squeezing of childhood and plush Degas toys. Also, in VERSUS, an animal kingdom throwdown: BEARS VS GORILLAS. The fight gets way more heated than you might expect. And the MLB declares water illegal.

The March of the Lebowskis is unveiled, the War on Wars on Wars is declared, bum-bots and 4 lights explained and debunked, Stump the Movie Douche picks up a shovel, art calls in with another garbage idea, and a Vs for the ages is proposed.

A show that starts in the land of the corporeal, and quickly flies into the realm of the metaphysical. Life, Death, nubs, stubs, and rutabaga scepters in the land of turnips and cookie heavens. Plus, a WoW movie, serial killers, and FOUR LIGHTS.

Thankfully we didn't have to endure endless "Hurr hurr it's 4/20" calls because it's 4/21. Fatboy fills in the stupidity vaccuum, however, with his own brand of "Dar-ar." Plus a Thunderdome that sounds kinda familiar, and McCain's big secret.

Chris Strompolos and Eric Zala of "RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: THE ADAPTATION" spread geek love all over the studio. Mike Russell deflates expectations like Jason Segel's manhood, Aaron Duran gets an F in English, and Dave Walker Luvs DinoCroc.

Cort and Fatboy part I: Ripley vs Connor Cort and Fatboy part II: Tales of Tommy Lee Cort and Fatboy part III: The Search for Sam Elliott A trilogy of mediocre awesomeosity, with podcast only bonusness.

Apocalypse again, but this time it's doublechecked by a 13 year old kraut and could be fought by Cort's mutant daughter. Also, Fatboy's idea of "playing" in 4th grade included walking train tracks looking for bodies. and brand new GWB: Boy prez. And knives.

I honestly have no goddamn idea what the hell happened in this episode. I don't. Sociologists will study and dissect this podcast someday in an effort to glean just what constitutes Vitamin WTF and the answers will be inside. With Podcast-Only love.

The mysteries of the Tulip Sausage, and why 15 year old soccer-playing vampires have ruined weather for the rest of us. Also, Karma and the dumb cyclist, Radio's redemption, and a Thunderdome to avenge the dressing down of Big Jim.

Mike Russell gets almost SHAKESPEAREAN while discussing Keanu Reeves, Aaron Duran teaches the audience to cuss in Klingon, Dave Walker gets vomited on by DVD Zombies, and Cort and Fats discover just what the hell happens to Olympic Athletes after the game.

Steve Novick, Candidate for the US Senate, comes on the show to tell you why other politicians don't have the hook he's got. Also, Bruce Lee vs Mike Tyson: Is it time for heavenly glory, or Rape Time? Plus, Uwe Boll gets nasty vs teh interwebs.

Cort tries to enact juvenile revenge against the street hecklers he encountered last night. Fatboy has his brain pumped up by Viso, only to deflate spectacularly on-air. Plus brand new George W. Bush Boy President and Movie Douche.

From the soft, sensitive ending of last night's show to discussions on tricking women into a cardboard box with a hot dog, and what eye-jelly might taste like. Also, the mystical race of Finley, and Podcast Only education on how radio works.

Cort fails in front of the Tulip Festival, which prompts us to traipse through the garden of bad comedy. Also included: Things Gary Busey has sniffed coke off of, Charlton Heston, The Olympic Torch, and a Thunderdome that starts angry, and ends softly.

Starring KATEE SACKHOFF. Co-starring Aaron Duran, discussing Battlestar Galactica before we showed the Season 4 Premiere, and featuring David Walker discussing the manly beardiness of James Van Der Beek. Plus: Tots, Shots, and lots of dookie-talk.

This show has more of vitamins W, T, and F packed inside of it than almost anything we've done this year. Captain Kangaroo vs Mister Rogers. Hagar vs. Roth. Cort's nightmare apocalypse scenario with his wife...IN BED. Co-Starring Daniel Plainview and Godz.

Cort discovers himself to be a full-fledged member in the cult of Viso. Fats discovers that mediocrity cuts like a knife. The audience discovers there's a messageboard at cortandfatboy.com, and brand new Boy Prez, brought to you by B and J.

Dan Merchant, author of "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers" drops science AND religion ALL IN THE SAME BREAK. Plus, why video game companies do stupid April Fool's crap every year, Podcast only Tim Savage love, and the coolest promo EVER.

The intentions of one Fatboy Roberts towards one Katee Sackhoff are declared, and then declared lacking by one Cort Webber. Also, Thunderdome goes to a strip club, Cheetahs maul people, monsters clog russian pipelines, and gas station punchouts.

Fashion Hour with Mike Russell and Fatboy Roberts, as well as a Screen Test on the latest Simon Pegg offering, Aaron Duran slays some sacred cinema cows and gets tomaxed and xamotted in return, and David Walker gets an asswhipping from his mom. Plus: Pie.

It finally gets settled, once and for all, in one of the most contentious and soul-rending editions of VS. ever: Simpsons vs. Family Guy. Also, bearded cyclists, Pumps and a Bump, Wombat Rape, Guns as household tools, and other assorted mediocrity.

Elbow drops to the Frakkin Mouth, Airlockings, and Whedonrape and Smooth Groove Thunderdomes: There are varying levels of hell in the afterlife, Cort and Fats visit a few in tonight show, including the hell of really bad games of Movie Douche.

The show gets a little grown-up: Discussions on politics, social security, gun control -- and then we make porn music live on the air and play with our Wii's. A special balance of maturity and douchebaggery in a low-calorie shell of mediocrity!

Cort and Fats put out the call for some justice, mediocrity style, as Listener Grady gets in a hit and run over the weekend. Also, Scott Weiland: Better Homes and Gardens journalist, and a listener chooses the Thunderdome gauntlets.

Mike Russell drills Owen Wilson for his latest cinematic misstep, Aaron Duran prays to the altar of Bruce Wayne, David Walker talks thai, he talk thai very well, Rambo 5 is written by Cort and Fats, and somehow Adam Carolla leads to real sex onscreen.

A sneak attack by the show's arch-nemafist - SNOW. Also, a mildly toned down solution to a potentially contentious "VS." Mac vs. PC. Shaq's recipe for Seattle Ramen, and two great tastes that taste great together - Pvt. Hudson and Adm. Ackbar.

Obama/Grohl 08: How Portland can make this miracle ticket happen. Brand New GEORGE W. BUSH, BOY PRESIDENT stumbles forth into this world, blinking and wobbly-legged, Stump the Movie Douche evens out its karma, and Cort's daughter tries to kill him again.

HENRY ROLLINS drops science via phonecall. Also, more gnome shit than we know what to do with, Lawsuit redefined, The game Naismith invented BEFORE Basketball, The problem with Portland protests, and loads of PODCAST ONLY EXTRAS for you podcasters.

If you know the show, you know what this holiday means to Fatboy: A chance to spew as much venom as possible towards the beleagured Irish. And tonight, the Irish get their chance to fight back in McThunderdome. Can the Wop be Stopped by Cap'n Kraut? Find out now!

Mike Russell calls in from a bar, Aaron Duran throws the book at DC Comics, Dave Walker pulls double duty, Cort has a Wocket in his Pocket, Fatty recounts his experiences in a Disneyland made of dirt and knockoff All-Stars, and Podcast only love for the people.

MY LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE melt faces with punk fury and drunken irish charm. Also, A new series of Vs. Battles are unleashed. Can anything top the awesome fury that was Hand vs. Foot? Stephen Hawking might just have something to say about it.

Cort and Fats ask for the news, and recieve it - if stray goo and pretzel paranoia can be considered news. Also, a monster of a Movie Douche, a brand spanking new George W. Bush Boy President, and the art of steak wagering is displayed.

If you're at work, and she's at home, is it wrong to ask her before you leave to start an exercise routine? Cort and Fats play with relationship napalm. Also, Podcast Only nostalgia baths and scanning, Denver's Chi-Mo Prevention Plan, and Herpes Eyes.

Supervillains? In OUR City? It's much more possible than you think. Also, new sins, old memes, Fatboy's road to Hollywood, Nickelback secures their hold on epic suckage (literally) and an old school Thunderdome that strokes the Lebowski.

You know the drill: Mike Russell, Aaron Duran, Dave Walker, podcast-only explicitness, tater tots, boobs, and strange discussions about all things whale, cow, Voltron, Han Solo and Rodents of Unusual Size. Come Blaithe with us.

VS. VERSUS. HEAD to HEAD. The battles you always wanted to see, FOUGHT, and DECIDED, once and for all. Who are the contestants? Listen to discover. Also, Planet Hulk wonderland, Brett Favre gulping, is dead bettah? And why Moses REALLY saw that bush.

Cort vs 4am Chainsaws. Guess who wins. Also, Fatboy climbs, and then falls, a Movie Douche mountain. And of course, a Brand New George W. Bush, Boy President, Requiem for a Swayze, and evidence that Barney Rubble was a demon on the microphone, suckaz.

In which Cort and Fatboy discover that no matter what time it is anywhere else, it's always 3am in Ohio. A plethora of Podcast Only goodies are jam-packed in today's podcast like cheese in a cordon bleu sandwich. Retirements, Deaths, and Godzilla fist, too.

It's all about fights. Cort fights cheese. Fats fights his own mouth. Songs fight songs in the Thunderdome. Faces are punched. Faces are rocked. Pockets get filled, wallets get emptied, and Cort reveals his secret to long lasting romance.

Mike Russell grades Semi-Pro Man-Child Will Ferrell, Aaron Duran Snikts Wolverine and tells tales of teenage ninjahood and bag-boy terrorism, and Dave Walker presents the Ice T Triple Pack. Plus Cort vs Krist Novoselic. And Art Alexakis.

How a chihuahua is like a bullet to the brain, and other uses for tiny dogs. Battlestar fans get their nose rubbed in a formidable beard and extra Podcast Only goodies, the return of Slamball, the death of New Line, Old (real) diet pill ads, and Rocky III.

The plan to derail the Skynet IBM is building, and the plan to save Portland from the stupidity of snow tires. Also, a new rule is added to Stump The Movie Douche. It involves Larry the Cable Guy. And a brand new episode of George W Bush Boy President.

Should flashing a little cheesecake be enough to get you run out of town on a rail? The Mayor of Arlington found out today. Our audience weighed in. Plus, nordic rip-stab, political hate-stab, Icicle sky stab, and Knife To The Eye. It's a theme.

Cort gets c-blocked by his infant daughter, and asks the audience to help plot his nefarious revenge. Plots include crib farts and Michael Caine. Also, putting the O-Face in the throes of childbirth, milkshake drinking and Thunderdome.

Mike Russell deciphers The Signal, Aaron Duran gets pissy about muties in a PODCAST ONLY rant, Dave Walker brings you Angels vs Demons toting shotguns and drugs, PLUS: The importance of notarization, throwing Bozyk, and carbonite office supplies.

PODCAST ONLY EXCLUSIVES GALORE. Including Apologies and War Cries. Also, observations of Tweekers caught in the wild, Uses for Wally Szcerbiak, Round-Eyes in your Akira Adaptation, And detailed instructions, via french scientists, to the G-Spot.

Win an iPod Touch from Best Buy. Find out what happened during the Lunar Eclipse. Gene Simmons sex tape. Parasitic diet pills. And Stump the Movie Douche.

The Day Fatty Was Sick. Cort is left alone in the studio for the first time in 3 years and you can practically hear the weeping. However Fats makes regular appearances on the phone and there is PODCAST EXCLUSIVE material galore, not to mention classic Dir.

The Karaoke Conditions one would have to meet to get Cort and Fats to sing--and the songs they'd sing in the Thunderdome. Also, Fatty's throat declares mutiny, and the listeners try to diagnose. And Courtney Love is a wretched wreck of a human.

Mike Russell gives Spielbergo some guff, Aaron Duran tweaks Paramount's pasties and gives Hulk good gun, Dave Walker contrasts old Romero and older romero in the B-Movie Minefield, and Fatboy makes wastepaper basketball history.

Yes, Valentine's Day is discussed, and advice is given, but it's not what you think. There's also zombies and cannibalism and a cabdriving God teaches us the real meaning of Valentine's Day. Plus, podcast tips and tricks from a Prof.

One of the weirder shows ever, including Hobbits, Resurrection, Zombies on Trampolines, Jupiter's Moon, brand new episodes of George W. Bush Boy President, a contentious game of Movie Douche, and Furries. Yes, Podcast-Only Furries.

Making forts out of Franzia boxes or: How to spin gold out of a broken childhood. Also, news on the new Star Wars movie (no kidding) podcast only tidbits, Scott Baio is a telekinetic pimp, and Things That Should Not be Seen are Bozyked.

Cort and Fats try to strike a deal between those who tip, and those who don't. Also: Squirrel-eating candidates, exorcism habits of the Polish, and Hillary Clinton's new single. Cap'n Obvious gets whored out. And Thunderdome, too!

Mike Russell sates his bloodlust, Aaron Duran talks Star Wars and Seamen, Dave Walker brings us an anti-valentine, and Rob Zombie tries to bring us a Conan movie. We're too busy arguing over Arkansas Lepers and Indiana Jones sequels, though.

Revisionist History gets redefined by Fatboy with a sword made of pig. Cort writes the Cloverfield sequel singlehandedly. The Writers Strike ends at the same time Val Kilmer's career does, and the most metal way to Floss is revealed.

Cort's daughter finds Cort's thumb in a nightmare shower scenario. Fatboy ponders the possibility of Tongue-Hands. A brand new episode of GEORGE W. BUSH, BOY PRESIDENT, n00bs ruin Movie Douche, and an appearance by the Press Corps Glee Club.

Super Fat Duper Tues Uper Day throws the whole world into turmoil, as the listeners try to help Cort and Fats figure out what could possibly replace George Dub. Also: Sex at work, Portland's own Lolrus, and 3:10 to Assassinate Yuma-Ford Turok.

Cort muses on how much ad time racism can buy, Fats reclaims the Thriller Dance, someone drives a toaster truck of hot fire into ice, listeners try to edit Dirty Laundry, and are educated on the glory of Miyagi. And the Glory of Love.

Mike Russell, Dave Walker, Scott Dally, Aaron Duran and BOZYK HIMSELF in a highly explicit special edition podcast featuring: Russell goes all Tarantino, Duran throws the Tecmo Bowl gauntlet, naked women, glistening karate, and throatrips.

Cort needs something to crap on, decides YOUR DREAMS will do. Also, Fatboy's skills as an impressionist are celebrated, Irish Airplane hijinks, Zydrunas Ilgauskas is a Pokemon, Cloverfield monster origins EXPLAINED, and Shia LeBeouf.

Cort cheats Fatty out of his birthday malevolence, and a challenge is issued. The machines rise up--against Cort only. Stump the Movie Douche gets heated, but not as superhot as the WORLD PREMIERE of SEASON SIX of George W. Bush, Boy President.

The first SNOW show of the year. And nothing has changed from last year, or the year before that. A blizzard of fearmongering and carpet flies out of the studio. Also, Cort recruits journalistic gold in the form of Byron Beck.

Cort sucks more wind than a hurricane, The latest internet Superstar is discovered by the boys, tales of the drunken Film Fever Commentary, A geek rock battle royale in The Thunderdome, and Saruman and Gandalf go on tour with Zep.

Mike Russell brings bad news to Portland, but Andre Dellamorte brings good news for Gore fans. Aaron Duran brings tales of Superhero deconstruction and rock star balling. Dave Walker brings lots of Dolph Lundgren, and Fatty's house is a smartass.

Scouting the Minors is examined: Where do you draw the line between "regular dude" and "Chester the Ice Cream Van Man?" Also, why the bridge from game to movie need not be built, Rambo vs Norris, and why Cort should be the new Loder.

The shower of inspirado is plumbed in some Podcast-Only loveliness, as well as: A ripping round of Stump the Movie Douche, Fatboy's confused about Kegel exercises, and Axl Rose is a big fat bloated lying sonofabitch crybaby asshole.

The quickness with which opportunists descended upon Heath Ledger's bones. The slowness of Robert Plant. The ridiculousness of game store manager-types. The coldness of the studio. And Cort's a vegan, now.

Fatboy is tricked by "friends" and Cort asks the listeners to set his insides free. Success smells like recycled sandwiches. Thunderdome is imported with a Shatner tax levied. And Scott Weiland not only snubs Cort and Fats, he snubs Hawk!

Mike Russell vs The Cloverfield Monster, Aaron Duran vs Alien Juice, Dave Walker vs Panhandling Superheroes, Cort and Fatboy vs Panhandling JJ Smoove, and a show-long struggle to appear sober. Because we weren't. With Podcast Only Exclusives.

Cort's first attempt at an un-caffeinated, LIVE airshift. How cloned cow-men can cure Michael J. Fox and bring us the gift of hoverboard by Mattel, The Seinfeld Solution to the NFC playoffs, Fatboy the cyber-pimp, and Nakoma from Grizzly Adams!

Keeping Portland Weird isn't hard when tonight's show features Real Life Superheroes, Portland's own Living Sun God, William Shatner podcast-only goodness, and a Movie Douche clusterfuck that goes so awry the show has to STOP DEAD to explain it.

A heated argument about eating the meat of clones breaks out, complete with advertising jingle. Tom Cruise out-joker's The Joker, Television's John Davidson - the voice of Lion-O, the A/V Club, atmosphere gnomes, and no American Idol news ever.

A new kid's drink is invented and Cort's microwave tries to kill him. T-shirt ideas are made golden. Grown men cry, celebrities on drugs, epic Thunderdome trashings, whores, time machines, and oil out of anything. Download and be happy.

Mike Russell tackles shrunken-head duneworm Jack Nicholson in the Screen Test, Aaron Duran Mexes it up with the Joker, Dave Walker suffers a shot to the groin from Ice-T, and NEAL ADAMS gets real. Plus explicit podcast only behind the scenes love.

Cort's Apocalypse theory gains steam in the form of a Tornado in Vantucky. The steam is halted with fond memories of WKRP, only to grow with Star Wars fueled madness. Also, exclusive CLOVERFIELD news. And by exclusive, I mean jacked from AICN.

The earth cracks a little, and Cort cracks a lot, and Fats cracks a mirror in a blemish battle. Plus, a lively game of Movie Douche, Political Analysis from Cort and Fatboy correspondent Listener Dane, and portents of Lucasian evil...

Cannibalistic American Gladiators: Find out which superheroes they ate to look like that. Also, Is Fatboy responsible for everything electronic going to crap in his hands? A/V Club, Russia's Space-Boner, and Bonus Podcast-Only love included.

The Gods of Initech thwart Cort, Fatboy, and Internet Princess Bridget, and all they wanna do is talk about wearing cremated pets as jewelry. Also, how Metallica fans ruined rock and roll as we know it, and Thunderdome is transformed--into The TENDERDOME.

Starring Rick Emerson and Scott Dally, marveling over Fatty's Skull, Mike Russell's top 10 of 07, Aaron Duran's seething Satanic Marvel-Rage, Dave Walker's Blood Car blowing up the B-Movie Minefield, and backstage, Podcast Only Explicit love.

Is Fatboy DYING? And more important than that, what happened on JAY LENO last night? An interview with TV's Rene Auberjoinois, NFL predictions so solid they have an entry on the periodical table, and a special taste of Shatner.

Back in Black. As in the screen of death that greeted Cort and Fats upon entering the studio. Crippled, distracted, and treading the seas of mediocrity. Like 2007, but with more Voltron, better Movie Douche, and pants.

Corto Claus makes one last appearance to grant wishes of misery and disdain to all the bad boys and girls. Schwarzenegger finds his way into the white house, Master Control tries to invade the show, and art alexakis succeeds.

Which of these things WASN'T discussed on tonight's show? Tax Law. Sex Panther. Jenna Fischer's opinion on the Foo Fighter's Live Show. Jinxing Fatboy's first date before it happens. Dan Lauria of TV's the Wonder Years. Drivable Tetris. Find out inside.

A land where xenomorphs aren't born, they're grown. A time where America goes to war against deities made of spaghetti. A place where mudslides get you an A in college. Vincent Gallo, Dan Lauria, Jonny 5, And the Strangest George Dub ever. Get silty.

Well, we could talk about world events, or we could talk about the fact Fatty actually kissed a girl. Guess which one Cort decided on. With Podcast only audio from My Life in Black and White, and a Very Special Dirty Laundry. And of course, Thunderdome.

Mike Russell recaps a whole year in like, 8 minutes. Dave Walker talks kungfu nunchuk vampires, Postal Labor, and Guantanamo's torture practices, Big Jim cameos, Aaron Duran talks Batman AND Hellboy, And Fatty's Birthday is POP-UP AWESOME.

The Fatboy Plan to save Baseball in two easy steps is unveiled. Also, tow truck drivers are giving Oregon a bad name, Gremlins Synchronicity is proposed, THE LOST GEORGE W BUSH IS RECOVERED, and Booger vs TardShark in a laugh-off.

The myriad possibilities for awesomitude in the Corporate Naming Rights to the Rose Garden are explored. The Christian/Mormon war gets off to a milky start. A particularly contentious Movie Douche is played, and a journalistic sacrifice nonpareil.

Rarely is the question asked: is our children better off being genetically enhanced so as to create a race of superbeings to fight each other for our amusement? Also: Matt Damon, Bea Arthur, Rob Zombie and JJ SMOOVE talks ladders around Fatboy.

Mutants and Superheroes and Gay Fruit Flies, the death of the Justice System and Toy Catalogs, with Podcast Only debate of the highest caliber, A healthy splash of electrolytes, A double dose of George Dub, and a bloody, raw little THUNDERDOME.

The question of Morgan Spurlock, the Theory of Denver, The omnipresence of Shaq, The totally not gay and wholly logical Senate-Style of Swordfighting, The joy of Destruction, And the agony of being berated by Microsoft Santa. And violin playing robots.

On the subject of Mr. Splashy Pants, homicidal clowns, Loaned Nostalgia, and Navy Seals. Also, Cort tries to hook Fatty up with a date off craigslist with Crystal Kash's help, and a game of Movie Douche that leads to a caller reaching out in kindness.

Cort keeps Portland weird, and Kansas City inspires Portland to get even weirder: introducing The Art of Smoking Toad. Simpsons never did it like this. Rule #34 is cursed, Bin Laden might have been found, and Lesbianism, brought to you by Quiznos.

Cort celebrates his birthday by unleashing gale force winds on his home state and pimpslapping trees. Also, more mink discussion than any other show you downloaded today, Chimps assert dominance over college kids, and PODCAST ONLY GOODIES for you.

Mike Russell grades "Awake" starring Anakin and Sue Storm in the Screen Test, Aaron Duran lets the superfreak out golden-lasso style with Wonder Woman, and Dave Walker unearths a diamond in the B-Movie Minefield. Plus valium, gambling and zombie cockroach

ESPN's folly revealed, Courtney Love final straw broken? Should Boston be nuked from Orbit? And does Voltron HAVE to rely on anal assault to be funny? All these questions, plus a call to the Trekkies and "The Ice-T Theory" all inside.

The first appearance of Oregon's mortal enemy: SNOW. Not the white rapper from canada, but the evil solid precipitation, clad in white, with a hunger for human flesh. Co-starring Crystal Kash, Shenanigans, The Hypnotoad, and an epic game of Movie Douche.

Can you further nerf an already nerfed toy? And by toy I mean society? Also, Verizon wants Michael Myers to stab your face repeatedly and leave you for the wolves. Will coffee save Mexican children? And what's more clowny than Flavor Flav?

Fatboy tries to make it through the show with a GRIEVOUS INJURY and is mocked for his efforts. Cort volunteers to teach love to the militants in the middle east. Rockers are mourned (sort of) Snow is celebrated (not really) and Thunderdome goes "Mrow."

Mike Russell gives The Mist high marks and geeks out on Scott Pilgrim, Aaron Duran tries to shed light on Green Lantern, Dave Walker doesn't get Parkour and dies inside trying, and *ERIC POWELL* creator of *The Goon* graces us with his presence.

Britain not only resurrects the Goatse Bomb, but launches Skynet into space. Cort and Fats write the script to Alien vs Predator 3, The origins of Gallagher's act are revealed, and Atheism's big flaw: Zombies. With PODCAST ONLY goodies.

Cort's tales of hypercolor woe and Predator catching. And not THAT kind of Predator. Also, Ghostbusters 3, The Goon is the best comic you've ever set eyes upon, Art and Ozzy call in, Kiss sucks ass, And so does Fatboy at Movie Douche.

A monstrous behemoth of mammoth proportions. A show so chock full, so wide ranging, so stuffed to the brim with explicit PODCAST ONLY GOODIES it can't be described with earthly words. It must be downloaded to be believed.

A monstrous behemoth of mammoth proportions. A show so chock full, so wide ranging, so stuffed to the brim with explicit PODCAST ONLY GOODIES it can't be described with earthly words. It must be downloaded to be believed.

Screen Test with Mike Russell gives Fred Claus reason to loathe his life, Aaron Duran spells Batman's doom and sings a duet with his mirror universe twin Fatboy, Dave Walker tells the tales of Sars Wars, and Rick Emerson talks to Max Brooks

When shoes ruled the world, and when Cort and Fats couldn't afford shoes. Also, more butthash incredulity. Arnie fights the sky, Fatty nerds up the Jock Itch, Cort calls "apocalypse" for the 3 millionth time, and Rob Zombie gets some Chud on him.

Cort's fear of trains, and the people who ride them that want to hit him with a bat--how should he conquer this fear? Also, Movie Douche ascendant towards redemption? Sorta. Kinda. And Johnny from Avenged Sevenfold talks books, beaver and guitar hero.

A sort of a Whitman's Sampler of mediocrity. No one theme running through any of the show. There's charity, zombies, lips, fame, movie references, references, video game references, nightmares and invitations. Find something you like.

The War on Drugs just took a turn for the fecal. The American Dollar dies on the same day Television took a big punch to the nards, and speaking of nards, Thunderdome tucked em up tight against some lycra and Chainsaws. And Fatty's Gingerbread Soul getsIc

Starring Dave Walker, Aaron Duran, Scott Dally, and a host of truffle shufflin mofo's, in probably one of the most behind the scenes and explicit podcasts the show has ever done. Cort gets drunk. Fats gets boobs. And Goonies are Good Enuf.

Invisible Tanks, Lolcat Armies, NFL headhunters, Proto-Bozyks, Weekend at Bernies III of the Dead, The wonderful world of Ramen, Psoriasis Pizza, the Internet is killing Ozzy Osbourne, Spider-Rape, And Requiem for a Bounty Hunter.

Flaming Pumpkin Bombs, Flaming White Trash Wreckage, Robbers calling to gloat, and Fatboy ruining his throat during a disastrous Movie Douche. Plus the show gave away a goddamn CAR. All awaiting you on this Halloween spectacular of a show.

The strange worlds of Meat and Ear removal that toys have entered into, Fatboy vs Hunters turns into Fatboy w/Hunters vs. Zombies, Big Jim's Lament with Podcast-Only audio from an altercation on The Marconi Show, and things cooler than Spider-Man 3.

Did Cort's wife try to POISON HIM. Or was he just an idiot. The answer may astound you. Also, Greg's Misogyny Hour, Emergency Medicine-DETROIT STYLE, 2007 can go fuck itself, Jack Black melts faces, and a Thunderdome that goes strange new places.

Mike Russell gets lost in the beauty of Blade Runner: The Final Cut. Aaron Duran mocks the Predalien and recounts the asswhipping the JLA is getting. Dave Walker pees on Fido. And the best complaint call ever about sausage and 600 lbs of men.

Office Freezer Etiquette: What time is a good time to steal a co-workers food? Why didn't Brita stop California from burning? Also, Sam Adams sues Sam Adams, Mancramps, Kid Rock exonerated, and Mitt Romney is a Pussy. Get on the Get it bandwagon.

The spray-can aneurysm is almost invoked, Fatboy's tough-as-nails heritage is verified, and unearthed in a volatile game of Movie Douche, Chris Hansen's new job as Head of Homeland Security, and Biometric Lunch Lines.

A lost continent, unearthed. The Panda Menace, unleashed. A Sleaze-rock superstar finds God. And a cheap alternative to watching Saw movies is offered. co-starring Nicolas Cage, James Earl Jones, and in a Podcast Only exclusive, a Walrus.

We're back like baby ribs. Or something. Cort again totally slanders Canada's good name, There are rules to groupie mishandling, How to best love Fatboy (it involves sharp implements) steer your own Hurricane, and of course, Thunderdome.

More treasures from the Vault, including now-unairable skits from Cort's glory days before Janet's boob fell out. Also, THE LOST VOLTRONS, and another Essay from Fatty regarding the reasons God CAN'T be a woman.

A little bit of Best of, A little bit of JJ Smoove, and a little bit of essay from Fatty on the Passion of the Calvin. A podcast for the die-hards because Fatty had too much free time on the first day of his vacation.

The Vacation-eve Show: Where the clockwatching starts early and never stops. Pope Balrog vs The Megaraptor, Michael Bay vs Stanley Kubrick, Cort vs Premature Apocalypse-ulation, and advice for 14 year old Bisexuals. WITH ADDED EXPLICIT PODCAST- ONLY LOVE.

The clockwatching show. Starring sharks who hate seals, Absinthe drinking meatpackers, cool words like "Flap," Slander of Canada's greatest export, it's niceness, and a Thunderdome that continues to bend reality. Cort's reality.

Mike Russell's Screen Test gets deep on the subject of Joaquin Phoenix coke tooting technique in "We Own the Night," Aaron Duran gets his Hulk on in Geek in the City, and Dave Walker's Guide to the B-Movie Minefield unearths a Cro-Cop. Oopsy-Poopsy.

Does the Gipper thirst for brains? Would you marry a robot? Can you marry a Llama in Minnesota? How low can Fox go with the Reality Shows? Did Randy Couture just quit? And once and for all the, question is answered: Felicity or Luann?

A strangely wilderness-themed show, including Roo-Murder, and Steve Irwin's secret pig-slaughtering shame. Stump the Movie Douche is problematic, Guam is fun to say, And helpful hints for the new parent who is too lazy to parent!

Voltron the Sophisticate, Private Flies are watching you, Cort again freaks out at the idea of re-named streets, but gains a valuable accomplice, Geoff Tate's great missed opportunity, and why it pays to be Fatty's MySpace Friend.

Cort and Fatboy star in "Balloonheads:" Slow and medicated radio hosts stumble through their own show and recieve Halloween costume suggestions. Also Cort shoots an Armadillo into a volcano, Voltron's change of assault habit, and Thunderdome.

Starring David Walker, Aaron Duran, and Eric D. Snider filling in for Mike Russell. Co-Starring Bon Jovi over and over again. Topics include Iron Man, Henry Rollins, Professor pimping, The perils of blind dating, and explicit podcast only love.

Steal this show. But don't let the RIAA find out. Also, the show gets Fairplayed out of effing NOWHERE, The virility of Jamie Farr is challenged, Downtown Portland is built on a LIE, and Cort explains the mysteries of Menopause. It's what you expect.

Fatboy has to beat some of you. He doesn't want to, but you made him. The spousal abuse happens during Movie Douche, of course. But he didn't mean it. He loves you all. Cort gets sicker and the voice gets sexier. Relatively speaking. Plus the regular crap.

Comedian extraordinaire *HARRY SHEARER* calls in to discuss politics. And comedy. And post-up moves. Also, the resurrection of American Gladiator will be televised, the resurrection of Mick Jagger's solo career will NOT, and Mom of the Year 2007.

Did the zombies rise over the weekend? Are hugs the latest weapon for bullies in middle school? And of course, constant updates on the biggest news story to hit the news since the invention of the word "New." And Thunderdome.

Mike Russell's Screen Test gives stellar marks to Johnnie To's "Exiled." Plus, The latest Gas Scam, Why the Pop Culture Hall of Fame should be in Cleveland, and the Season 5 finale of George W. Bush, Boy Prez, and you get some podcast-only explicit love.

Cort and Fatboy tackle the Big Issues. Like Gays in the Military, and Child Care. Seriously. Well, semi-seriously. The child care has to do with taping kids' face shut. And why dudes don't shave their armpits. Cort also berates a 14 year old. Family Fun!

STARBUCK IS BACK: Katee Sackhoff talks Bionic Badassery and Battlestar Brilliance. Also discussed: Bunnies. Yes, we're still a rock show. There's Goodfellas, and Space Chinese, and Dave Grohl hearkening to you, and Oppresso-shoes. And Movie Douche.

A Cruel and Unusual Cort and Fatboy, with extra Sorbo-badness injected near the end. Hateful listeners, oppressed crackers, Boxing's last death rattle, Halo 3 Musings, And the cold criminal comfort of Goodfellas.

This is a particularly movie-addicted episode. There's no real topic at any point, but is instead about: The Goonies, Yul Brynner's Rubies, Richard Dreyfuss, Wilford Brimley, Cheech and Chong, Roadhouse, and Goodfellas. And Thunderdome.

Mike Russell Screen Tests Resident Evil: Extinction and marvels at how colon-y it is. Fatty taunts latecoming contest callers, The Brady Munch, Zombie Apocalypse cover-up, and brand new George W. Bush, Boy President. Ah-HAAAA!

Welcome to the Corran and Faaaaaaaaaahh show. Starring Frank N. Furter in Jock Itch, the amazing Silly Putty vagina in Dirty Laundry, David Bowie makes a mess of the Backstage Blog, and Cort declares war on Canada for the lamest of reasons. And Batman.

On naming streets, and the legacy of Cesar Chavez, and all the windbreakers he invented. Co-Starring Condi Rice as Darth Vader, Courtney Love: The Fragrance, Arlen Specter as 1/2 of the Ambiguously Gay Duo, and Stump the Movie Douche.

A show that starts off strangely snake-infested, and then moves, of course, to Zombies by the end. It's a long strange trip. Co-starring Schwarzenegger, Dick Jones, Marilyn Manson + The Beatles, and Zombie Pam Anderson giving you Hep C.

Cort and Fatboy are ringed with melancholy. The sad taste of Monday is felt on the normally jubilant tongue of their comedy. Co-starring suicides, dead seals, Bees, jilted friends, and limited pop culture references. Also, Thunderdome. And Shatner.

Mike Russell's Screen Test decries Lilith Fair Vigilante Movies, and adds some spice to an oddly Batman flavored Cort and Fatboy. Also starring Ninjas, Salad Bars, Jihad on pop stars, and brand new George W. Bush, Boy President.

The quandary of solving Karate Love. The mysteries of Potato Pizza. The real reason Greg Oden's knee is screwed up. Why sniping tree stumps is a bad idea. And Madonna gets choked out like Deebo from Friday. Co-starring Big Jim.

Cort laments Germany's ability to exist without starting a World War, and reveals that he thinks the government is watching him pee. Birth Control stops ass cancer, Tommy Lee needs a hug, And a very special episode of Movie Douche ends in tears.

A sweet and sour Episode tonight: The world needs more Tron, apparently. And more Lou Diamond Phillips, And More Chris Crocker. More More more MORE! And we sneak in some serious talk for once. You'll know it when it comes up.

The internet's newest superstar is born, Cort's latest phobia is revealed, Kid Rock gets his pimpslap on, Japan gets a space laser and Fatty relishes the insufferable smugness of I Told You So. And Thunderdome

Starring Dave Walker, Mike Russell, Scott Dally, Sarah X Dylan, with cameo appearances by Bozyk and Chris back in the studio. Hear Fatboy injure himself, Cort threaten to violate Fats skull, and all kinds of behind the scenes wonderfulness.

Cort renews his bid to be KUFO Program Director by promising everyone everything. Bin Laden pranks Bush, "Cultural Differences" don't excuse dogfighting, and Portland's hospitality is totally taken advantage of. Fight back.

What could be better than Joust: The Movie? How exactly did Lana Wachowski become Lana Wachowski? How bad did Fatboy fold during Stump the Movie Douche? And how do goats keep planes in the sky? A long and tastefully educational episode.

Cort's secret ear fetish is not only revealed, but largely SHARED by the audience. New Yorkers beat up a shark, and Courtney Love really IS responsible for everything bad that's ever happened. Ever.

August gets closed out and Labor Day weekend is embarked upon, but not without Mike Russell's Screen Test of "Death Sentence," Fatboy's Michael Winslow impersonation, Frank Zappa dropping knowledge from beyond, and new GWB.

Blessed by the presence of Bozyk, who has no love for Rob Zombie's Halloween. Also blessed by Scott Dally from Film Fever Radio, who has a mount now. And Bobby Hacker of "Cars" fame hangs out with Tom Green. Plus a bunch of other crap.

If you have a touch of the geek, a pinch of the nerd, or just like laughing, tonight's show should work. Starring John Edwards as a Werewolf, Mola Ram, Timothy Zahn, Pirates, Ninjas, Markie Post, Stump the Movie Douche and Classic GWB.

Why John Carpenter doesn't care about the Halloween remake, and how the MPAA is trying to stop you from stealing it, Bad Refund attempts at Fear and Loathing, Bad cover song ideas from Queensryche, and Good news for your Wii.

BILLY BOB THORNTON drawls his way through some early morning mistruths, Cort hates his friends, Fatboy hates his haters, Michael Vick loves his Jesus, and THUNDERDOME is waged.

from high atop the crows nest at Rockfest the 12th: Drunken Debauchery, Live band introductions, Crystal Kash lending a feminine (and intoxicated) touch, Trainwreck Crossovers with The Marconi Show, and mindless yelling. Lots of it.

UWE BOLL PUNKS OUT. Sure, he blames the planes, but we all know he feared the wrath of Cort and Fats. MIKE RUSSELL'S SCREEN TEST takes on The King of Kong. and BRAND NEW GEORGE W BUSH, BOY PRESIDENT

Superbadass JONAH HILL endures more radio interviews. We try to ease his suffering. Also, What the f**k are the Foo Fighters thinking, College Football Fans from the south are ridiculous, and Mumm-Ra tries to sell Rockfest tickets.

*WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION RANDY "THE NATURAL" COUTURE* talks head-kicks, hollywood, and David Mamet. We strategize on how to best interview Uwe Boll, we go for the hard sell, and we stump the movie douche.

What makes Diet Pills work? What makes Grover Cleveland such a badass? Does Portland Water taste like socks? Should the McMinnville Kids be thrown to the Chi-Mo's? All this and more. So much more your mind can't comprehend it.

Is the moon really capable of making people crazy, and has chicken become Fatty's enemy after years of being awesome to him? Mike Vick's county fate, Grabass gets you 250 in fines, and ROCKFEST THUNDERDOME.

The struggle to birth today's George W. Bush Boy President, the alluring charm of Markie Post, This years Wicker Man remake, and a late night Screen Test with Mike Russell on the glories of Superbad.

Why is Cort's wife cheating on him in his subconscious with Ric Ocasek? BILL HADER from Superbad gets on the phone. Dinosaurs with Lasers on their heads, An Epic battle of Smarm vs Smarm, and a sneak preview of what might replace George W. Bush, Boy President.

Bear Grylls and Criss Angel are goddamn phonies, and we have the proof. Also, Cort tries to ruin all happiness in Portland, Fatty gives valuable Fantasy Football advice, Canada's requirements for being a gay canadian, and Stump the Movie Douche.

This show is way better than yesterday's. I promise. Download and see. It's almost pretty goddamned awesome, actually, For one: It's actually funny. Starring Batman, Iran, Cort's Bloody Nose, and Mutant Abraham Lincoln.

Do you have the guts to download tonight's show? See if it sucks as hard as we think it does. Also, Thunderdome and JJ Smoove.

Mike Russell's Screen Test revels in the sheer mediocrity that is Rush Hour 3, with a gloved assist from Roman Polanski. Also, Brand new George W. Bush, Boy President, Voltron's arrival, And Justice is served in Medford of all places.

We try to figure out why society hasn't moved past the killing of animals for personal entertainment, and then we wash that seriousness out with some of the most absurdly retarded stuff we've ever done. Truly, a special episode.

Why do they keep giving robbers cutesy nicknames? Why do they keep doing guitar solo lists at these dying rock magazines? Why do the computers at CBS radio suck so much ass? Why is Stump the Movie Douche so hard? WHY?

Strategies for protecting unsuspecting bystanders from the plague of BALD bewitching Cort and Fats heads. Barry Bonds hits 756, Elf shoots the food, and flashlights make you puke, but not as much as Flash Gordon drinking games.

Could America ever possibly fall in love with the Smart Car? Only if it's proven fun to blow up and crash into things. Should monkeys join swat teams? Can Guitar Battles secure the love of your life?

Broadcasting live from the Beautiful Bagdad Theater. Starring:Mike Russell of Culture Pulp and The Oregonian, Lisa Wood of Viva La Luna, Scott Dally of Film Fever Radio, and Ryan Barrett of The Fabulous Barrett Brothers Engineering Gods and Krump Dance.

The plight and tragedy of the weiner wrap: Childhood's forgotten food, and how Cort and Fatboy can take it back and make it glorious again. Also, Pete Rose extends his world record streak of douchebag moves, and what happens when the Robots laugh?

Fatboy's dubious bridge collapse escape theories are proven false in a variety of ways, Suddenly Blackface in LA is an acceptable form of self-expression, Slusho turns you into monsters, and STUMP THE MOVIE DOUCHE drives Fatty to depression.

A Brief History of Oregon's shadiness, starring The Mafia, The KKK and Shanghai Pirates. And the Baconator. And Iran's Rug of Doom. And even some serious discussion on the latest government cover-ups. A super-sized show to close out July.

The amazing breadth and depth of Cort and Fatboy's conversational skill. Transformers, Star Wars, Elves and Bears. Also, is the era of the strip club finally dead and gone? Did Kevin Garnett just make the NBA interesting again? Is being a russian kid cool?

Screen Test with Substitute Teachers Scott Dally and Aaron Duran from Film Fever Radio. The student? The Simpsons. The grade? Is "Meh" a grade? Also, The hardest-core Grateful Dead fan ever, "art alexakis" won't leave us alone, and brand new GEORGE W BUSH BOY PRESIDENT!

Lessons in how NOT to negotiate with Cort and Fatboy, the difference between a Postcardumentary and Star Wars, what mysterious shadow company dares encroach on Blazer territory, and scads of Harry Shearer fans descend upon the show.

A discussion on the legitimacy of Bear Grylls turns into a (no kidding) in-depth discussion on man's fascination with death. It gets a little *PODCAST ONLY* at the end, too. Chris Hansen's Myspace page is DENIED, Anchovies bring down the Catholic Church.

Cort's plea for a plot to murder a murder of crows, if that's possible. John Mayer's statutory solution to underage drinking, RAT TRAP OUT OF FREAKING NOWHERE, half terrorist half scottish sharks, and the strange subculture of Mileage Running.

Who the hell waits in line for a FURNITURE STORE OPENING? The NBA's secret cancer is outed, Quentin Tarantino's skeevy, doofy pimp game is examined, Why you shouldn't eat at a place called Steak and Shake, and of course, THUNDERDOME.

Mike Russell's Screen Test eschews Hollywood Fare for an indie movie about zombie weresheep with effects by Weta. Brand new George W. Bush. And then the rest of the show is totally half assed. We didn't even get to 60 minutes of podcast. Enjoy your weekend.

Cort's plan to stop global warming somehow involves running over cows with trains. Fatboy insists fat people are more agile than skinny ones. And pretty much the most nonsensical, asinine and schizophrenic episode of the show is unleashed.

The Sharkpedo will win the war on terror, but only after whatever is under New York's streets rises from it's slumber and Cort fights Fatboy in the Octagon, winner take nothing. Also, Stump the Movie Douche.

The torture of older brothers is visited upon the listeners, the he-man status of Jon Lovitz is celebrated, Billy Corgan's got the hookup with the conjoined people, and Comedy Central's bill is due.

Is the era of the Boob Job over, and if it isn't--shouldn't it be? Phone Solicitor takes a wrong turn and ends up in the land of Peter Sodomy, Billy Corgan gets his douchitude tested, and THE THUNDERDOME plays out.

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The Speed of Life has made the mid life crisis the quarter life slide--are you afflicted? The Human Asterisk faces a crisis of conscience, And Cort gets drunk off cake. The science is explained.

Love and Flaming Skulls: Could a Rockfest wedding be in the works? How rampant weed use during infancy can lead to marauding combine thieves, and of course, STUMP THE MOVIE DOUCHE. And an earthquake happens.

Hot as Balls = redneck riots riverside, Canada's conception of rock is crooked, JJ SMOOVE's adventures in rent money, And the Sophie's Choice of shallow men everywhere.

The triumphant return transforms into loss as Rick Emerson requests the kneeling before Zod. Harry Potter has brought Chewbacca so low, Is James Hetfield a tool for Al Qaeda or just a tool, and THUNDERDOME.

Mike Russell grades his Screen Tests fairly. Find out what marks Die Mildly Annoyed with a PG-13 and Ratatouille get. Also, Zod, Mooninites, Chair-Man, Rick Emerson, iPhones and Norwegians eating death metal Slayer lovers.

A near miss of Canzownage means we make sense of a questionable Blazers move. The Benoit story gets a little stranger, our Transformers bet bodes well, and is Brick Tamland 4 Prez a step up..or a step sideways?

Possibly one of the most schizophrenically weird shows ever aired. And they will build statues of us for it when we are done, and Stump the Movie Douche will replace baseball as the national pastime.

A CANZANOWNING leads to REVERSE CANZANOWNAGE. Learn from the Oregonian columnist what Portland's GM's are thinking. Also, Punk vs Metal, Ricci Boobage, Jesus is half-shark half-messiah, and micropenis.

Cort is enraptured by visions of death. Can the listeners help him? No. A man is tortured by the most annoying father in law ever. Can the listeners help him? No. Germany declares war on Tom Cruise, and Oregon declares war on Seals.

An interesting anthropological study on Cougars - aka talking about hot old chicks. forgive us the objectification for a second. Also, the woodland creatures plans to take us over, and Mike Russell's Screen Test grades 1408 and Evan Almighty.

Circumcision: What is it good for(eskin)? Is Greg Oden REALLY damaged goods? More of the Transformers and Rick Emerson's Bet, and Josh Homme's Balsamic Vinagrette approach to rock.

Fats unleashes Cort's inner Magneto, God speaks to us TWICE in one day, Kurt Cobain: the transformer? and the triumphant return of Stump the Movie Douche

Find out why tape is not a parenting tool, why Hilary just conceded the race to Obama, why DUMB will probably get you the girl, why Tommy Lee is a wuss, and why banning smoking in bars is BAD for the children. kinda.

Why are the mammaries not set free? Also, the Travoltse, the end of the world as we know it, and Thunderdome gets hairy.

It's amazing how much awesome got packed into just over an hour. Mike Russell's Screen Test of Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer, the return of TIM SAVAGE for one last goodbye to Portland before conquering Los Angeles, and a look into the resurgence.

Old business settled with violence, new business with "honorable" insurgents, The Loss Prevention Educational Hour, Toucan Sam's new makeover, and JOHN CANZANO of the OREGONIAN weighs in on the NBA Finals and Kevin Pritchards Holiday Sale Style.

Somewhere right around the 30 minute mark, the show completely implodes. And it's not pretty. *PODCAST ONLY* audio inside.

SHOW INTRO - The myth of the Man Period, or MANSTRUATION as it were, is explored and proven to be... 13:39 - Dirty Laundry: Gay Bomb - CONFIRMED. Albania - ENEMY! and what foul people are sneaking BEAR into your medicine.

SHOW INTRO - Is Cort's wife going to jail over an auto accident? Legal Advice from the law firm of Cort, Fatboy and Listeners. 14:17 - Dirty Laundry: Is Korea on the verge of renaming itself "Happytown?" And Oregon Schools make worldwide news.

SHOW INTRO - Screen Test with Mike Russell: The Adult Contemporary Smooth Jazz charm of Ocean's 13, and the empty exploitation for exploitation's sake of Hostel part II. 13:44 - Dirty Laundry: Is our Presidents Assassiminated?

SHOW INTRO - Body Worlds 3: Cort has witnessed the ballet of Shellacked Corpses and fallen under it's grotesque spell. 12:10 - Dirty Laundry: in the future, books might read to YOU. Putin and Bush talk Cold War, and CAT INVASION.

SHOW INTRO - do children's parades lead to a deeper understanding of infanticide? Octogenarians think so. 11:32 - Dirty Laundry: Is the Bushy a Jedi? Is our exit strategy a flightless bird? And an era ends today.

SHOW INTRO - Fatboy's spur of the urinal theory regarding pet choice and female sexuality. 13:37 - Dirty Laundry: Zombie Food will kill us all, A celebrity goes to prison without showing their beef curtains (how novel!)

SHOW INTRO - Fatboy's weekend attempt at being a vigilante superhero go lamely wrong. 11:40 - Dirty Laundry: Crackheads for free speech, Iran's top 40 countdown, and Bushy's German Field Trip 17:52 - Misadventures in Superherodom.

This one's short and sweet. Mike Russell writes a love note to "Knocked Up" during the Screen Test; The validity of Guitar Hero is debated; and The Philippines re-invents the concept of Karaoke.

SHOW INTRO - The retard-strong mental disorder that turns Fatboy into the Incredible Hulk. 12:29 - Dirty Laundry: New York hates Games, Russia steps up their Nuke Prep, and Mothra Returns! 20:50 - Cort A. Freud, psychologist extroardinaire, solves

SHOW INTRO - Kobe Bryant: Colossal Dick. But could he help the Blazers? Oregonian Columnist John Canzano finds himself on our show somehow to make sense of it all. 15:41 - Dirty Laundry: Cold War II, Cold Harder. And Whales are still a bunch of crap.

SHOW INTRO - The cops are coming. Hide the evidence. Especially if it's a monstrous pink phallus the size of an elephant trunk 14:26 - Dirty Laundry: The last gasp of the 60's idealism died today. on a blog. Also, Shark Petting Zoos!

Wash yourself in the refreshing nostalgia that is 30 years of Star Wars. All show long, learn secrets (you probably already knew) and mythological insights (you probably already gleaned) and how lame you were for not having the toys the other kids had.

SHOW INTRO - Is the onslaught of Technology the latest example of "White Flight?" 18:42 - Dirty Laundry: Charlie Manson, freed? Bin Laden CONTAINED? and the CNN guide to raising your kids 24:42 - Star Wars 30th Anniversary Pre-Funking and Fatboy's Fear

SHOW INTRO - Cort fights the oppressive, deathly influence of HOPE, while Fatboy tries to break the walls of pessimism with love and mathematics 12:23 - Dirty Laundry: Global Warming bringing Malaria back like Justin Timberlake.

SHOW INTRO - Blazers fans: for the first time in a long time, you are now allowed to hope. 6:54 - Dirty Laundry: The gov knows how to save you from your interwebs, manufactures know how to save your balls from teh cancer, and Russia hates the UK now, ya.

SHOW INTRO - The apathy of victory, and the sadness of Cort's conception of "helping the kids." 12:55 - Dirty Laundry: Pissed off old white men slapboxing each other. And THE MENNONITE MENACE LOOMS!

SPECIAL PODCAST ONLY INTRO - Yet another trainwreck of epic proportions unleashed on the air in the name of the kids. Marconi Show and Cort and Fatboy, together again. 6:06 - Mike Russell's Screen Test: Mike plans Cort's weekend for him

SHOW INTRO - Could Lord of the Flies really make a good reality show? Or could it be EVEN BETTER? 14:50 - Dirty Laundry: Our neighbors to the north suffer a vicious chemical attack of MUMPS. Also, Oral sex declared safe again

SHOW INTRO - Which of our listeners are going straight to hell revealed. 5:16 - Dirty Laundry: Of coconuts and x's for eyes and the attorney general's office. And how the Flintstones are bad for your crotch.

SHOW INTRO - The dilemma of Jimmy from Chicago and his Karmic iPod. 11:59 - Dirty Laundry: The patriotism of a thousand flea markets saves an endangered species. 19:41 - Karma clarified, experts consulted, Cyberdyne invoked, Sobchak solutions suggested.

SHOW INTRO - Operation T.M.I is launched against the scourge of nosy neighbors in the area. 10:45 - Dirty Laundry: The link between Al-Qaeda and Starbucks is finally revealed

SHOW INTRO - Forecast calls for an eighty percent chance of a half-assed show. 4:23 - Mike Russell's Screen Test: The violent, nasty fun of 28 Weeks Later, and how Fatboy feels this movie has something in common with Moulin Rouge.

MARCONI SHOW INTRO - Impassioned Pleading, Mola Ram, and Ponch's Betrayal lead off this special charity edition of the show 12:51 - Fatboy is brought low, and Jim's sad past is exploited. For the kids, of course. 19:07 - CORT AND FATBOY INTRO: The hint

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - How Fatboy weaseled his way into a circle of luminaries like Webster and Rowdy Roddy Piper; An unending mountain of excrement is thrown in the direction of The Marconi Show's Big Jim; and Bushy's creepy, strange way of "comforting" people.

SHOW INTRO - It's a good thing radio doesn't incorporate any senses besides sound. And Spiders want to eat your brains. 12:01 - Dirty Laundry: The power of GEEK stops Jersey Terrorist Pizza Boys. 18:59 - Cort and Fatboy vs. The Marconi Show, via bowling.

SHOW INTRO - It's not the Willamette, it's the River Twix. Co-starring a river gremlin. 11:09 - Dirty Laundry: Did Bush start Revolutionary War II: Revolutionary Harder? Also, 2 jokes are lost in the line of duty on this special Dirty Laundry.

Guest Starring UFC HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION RANDY COUTURE MIKE RUSSELL of the OREGONIAN AND 500 LEBOWSKI FANS IN BATHROBES.

SHOW INTRO - Pregnancy's greatest practical jokes! 11:44 - Things more influential than The Bushy, and things with more balls than congress. 22:09 - KUFO THE MOVIE: You get to cast it. Who is Shatner playing? How about Christina Ricci?

SHOW INTRO - Jamz and Zubaz and proof that Care Bears are real. 8:27 - Dirty Laundry: The kiss that killed Iran, the all-purpose prescription to ease your pain, and how the Navy got its cool back. 19:12 - Fire safety PSA

SHOW INTRO - The variety of ways we will be bribing you to listen tonight. Plus, the mind-boggling Counterproductivity of Critical Mass. 7:20 - Dirty Laundry: Who's putting what down the Bushy's throat? And why does Miss America hate the children?

SHOW INTRO - Words and phrases that deserve a funeral 11:06 - Dirty Laundry: Killing Al Gore is hard, Breaking Oakland is easy. And did Osama get captured this weekend? 21:39 - Funeral services commence and conclude. Fare thee well, Yo mama.

SHOW INTRO - Mike Russell's Screen Test: Gives Star Wars fans a guilt free trip down Nostalgia Ave, and the WWE gives it's fans cinematic diarrhea. 10:18 - Dirty Laundry: Idaho ruins the iPod, Bushy gets his Bully on, and New York tries to punk Boston.

SHOW INTRO - Mike Russell's Screen Test: Gives Star Wars fans a guilt free trip down Nostalgia Ave, and the WWE gives it's fans cinematic diarrhea. 10:18 - Dirty Laundry: Idaho ruins the iPod, Bushy gets his Bully on, and New York tries to punk Boston.

SHOW INTRO - Hey man. You got some crop? Spare a brother a crop? 11:19 - Dirty Laundry: Did scientists find Superman's homeworld? Plus, DAMN it feels good to be a ninja. 20:15 - The grey area between steak and ramen.

SHOW INTRO - Cort barely survives his own personal vision of hell. Oh, and Nazi Robots in the Antarctic. 10:14 - Dirty Laundry: How to stop the android revolution before it starts, and the media needs comedy realignment 17:33 - Why does humanity suck?

SHOW INTRO - Cort's vision of Utopia: Armed garbagemen mowing down the homeless for deposit money. 14:33 - America boldly marches towards its Futurama-esque destiny. And a fond goodbye to the funniest world leader since Warren G Harding.

SHOW INTRO - Featuring a Margarita borne of insane genius 6:18 - Dirty Laundry: A simple hobbit's quest to topple the reign of the Dark Lord Cheney 12:49 - Screen Test with Mike Russell: The Glory of Hot Fuzz, and the promise of Nimrod.

SHOW INTRO - The Blowhard, the Bloviator, the Baldwin. The DAD OF THE YEAR. 14:09 - Dirty Laundry: The Iraq War, now with value-added content! 21:54 - Paul Stanley and the utter definition of "Rape Eyes." and a special PODCAST EXCLUSIVE.

SHOW INTRO - 2 reasons Portland should be ASHAMED of itself. They involve Basketball and Beer. 9:38 - Dirty Laundry: A torrential downpour of STUPID flooded America today. A recount of the damage idiocy hath wrought. 19:23 - Dirty Dancing: Are you meta?

SHOW INTRO - A celebration of procrastination and sadomasochism, but on a SMALL, CUTE scale! 5:27 - RICK EMERSON: The bet check-up, and the funstomp! 10:25 - Dirty Laundry: Politics has become one big game of Celebrity Pokemon. Almost literally.

SHOW INTRO - Fairies and elves spin gold out of carpet live in studio before making us fart cotton candy and pee chocolate and actually, we talked about the shootings in Virginia, and the sad state of Journalism in the 21st Century

SHOW INTRO - Mike Russell's not just a critic: He's a public servant 6:11 - Mike Russell's Screen Test: Supersized Aqua Teens leaves a faint aftertaste of crap, and Fox tries to pull a fast one w/Pathfinder

SHOW INTRO - Okay, look, of course Imus got fired, he's an unfunny shitbag. And thus ends the conversation. 7:58 - Dirty Laundry: Bushy rewrites the rules of war, Jesus rewrites the rewrite of his death, and one of the best writers ever writes his own epilogue.

SHOW INTRO - Cort vs. the Poop Monsters 13:39 - Dirty Laundry: War, War, War, Robot cars, War, War, Blah, Blah Robots. 20:55 - What an aneurysm sounds like, and life in the key of Bozyk. 30:00 - Backstage Blog: Cort's Adventures in Time Travel

SHOW INTRO - The strange, surreal tale of Fear and Loathing at the Bagdad Theater, or how the Midnight Movie died a spectacular, alcohol drenched death only to rise again. 11:53 - Dirty Laundry: How Marines REALLY recruit.

SHOW INTRO - Play Misty for Fatboy OR Just call him a pussy. 12:57 - Dirty Laundry; How Mitt Romney is the New Bill Clinton, and Iran's latest tourist trap is set 21:08 - Is Lo Pan after Fatty? And how our listeners make for bad soccerballs.

SHOW INTRO - What's easier? Jumping to the moon or conning your parents into letting your teenage girlfriend live with you? 11:10 - Dirty Laundry: Have aliens invaded McCain's Brain? Physical Proof EXISTS.

SHOW INTRO - The fight for Fatboy's very NAME, and the midnight movie makes marriages merry 11:15 - Dirty Laundry: Sex Degrees of Pelosi, Germany declares ogling a legit exercise, and terrorism aint just for terrorists.

SHOW INTRO - How awesome do you have to be, before that's all you can physically hear? 9:47 - Dirty Laundry: Black Jesus 4 Prez, and how is Spongebob like Suge Knight? 18:00 - Cort and Fats improve your marriage and prevent unappreciated anal play.

SHOW INTRO - Promises unkept, shame unending. 5:15 - Mike Russell's Screen Test: The Lookout, Blades of Glory, and Portland's own hellpit, the Lloyd Center Cinemas 17:39 - Dirty Laundry: De Jesus redefined by Florida, and Academics Alec Baldwin Style.

SHOW INTRO - Cort + Fatboy + On Location = Gandalf + Bambi + Hermies 4:10 - The Bill Cosby of Portland cycling gets his Coogi in a bunch 8:33 - Dirty Laundry: The afterlife has a terrible agent, and how Trejo can win the war.

SHOW INTRO - Fear and Loathing and Renaissance Fairs 7:07 - Dirty Laundry: Terrorism solved, when gangsters get nerdy, and the tasty flavor of meth addiction 19:46 - Cort's methane revenge and a midnight movie FIRST.

SHOW INTRO - Corndog Poisoning and the sad fate of "Blobby" Roberts 12:10 - Dirty Laundry: Cancer Fight! Robotic Molestation Statue, and WWIII is already uber-lame 21:00 - Alternative diet tips from Cort and Kelly.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The strange challenge of being funny in a cuisinart with Janeane Garofalo. Also discussed - A serious and rational dissection of the adult themes and greater thematic relevance in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles during Mike Russell's Screen test.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - Only one show can bring you THE RETURN OF THE CHRIST. The Gozer-ish return of the Messiah. What form will he take? YOU GET TO CHOOSE. Also discussed - The show is hijacked by "The Champ Smoothie" and it's creator's Ed Woodian product.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - Whether Fatboy should fear for his nuts at impending betrayal, or just amiably shrug off the fact that his girlfriend is reading his mail and looking at his bank statements. Benign or Malicious? You be the judge.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The Mall's erosion of society, and how it affects Cort's camera purchases; A light is shined on the darkest, strangest, and rapidly multiplying phenomenon on the internet, Fan Fiction; Find out what Peanuts and Iraqi Funerals have in common.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The Jackass-esque romance of Fatboy and Kelly, and Cort's special brand of matrimonial Tiger Torture. Also discussed - the most twisted kids show idea ever; Who could possibly hold the title of greatest Television Character Ever.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The Fetishization of youth, and whether women buy into it as hardcore as the dudes do when they read about teachers nailing students. Also discussed - The world ending cuteness of John Edwards; and the world ending evil of housecats.

IN WHICH WE REVEAL - Just what sporting events our enterprising young micks must endure to be crowned KING OF THE MCLYMPICS. Also discussed - Are the bends a legitimate cure for AIDS; How to best plan for Caldera glurting; Do it for Johnny, man.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The loving Family Dysfunction and mildly drunk humility of Local Gods Auralust, headliners at the Cort and Fatboy's McLympics this Friday. Also discussed - Katee Sackhoff emails Cort and reveals her next role.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The macabre, frightening advertising family of Kool-Aid Man, Burger King, and Spongmonkey, and their illegitimate, creepy offspring. Also discussed - Germany tries to legalize incest; and Virginia spends taxpayer money on rape comics.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The metric tonnage of sheer badassery in both "300" and "The Host" during Mike Russell's Screen Test. Also discussed - Portland's Dirty Secret: Rampant classism and the secret hipster society behind it.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - How to fix celebrity worship, one punch at a time, with comedian Zach Galifianakis. Also discussed - How expensive weddings are bad for America; God's abandoning America AND her money.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - Cort's spiraling lack of self-confidence after the show is stood up not once, but TWICE by World Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture. Randy finally gets on the phone though and reduces Cort to a girly puddle of goo.

IN WHICH WE DISCUSS - The giant Whiskey Tango Foxtrot on TV last night starring Katee Sackhoff, who we got on the phone tonight, and who can somehow go from Starbuck to Strawberry Shortcake all in the same day.

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